


A Second Chance

by Clarke_kom_eden



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Apologies, Arguing, Canon Compliant, Confessions, F/M, Friendship, Pining, Post-Season/Series 05, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, Season/Series 06, Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-07-12 15:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15998501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarke_kom_eden/pseuds/Clarke_kom_eden
Summary: Post season 5 ( so, season 6) Fic.This fic is all about giving our mains the chance to actually talk! (And fight, because they need to, and make up.)Bellamy has forgiven Clarke, hasn't he? But as cracks appear in his relationship, and everyone else seems to be telling him how he feels, he has to face up to his feelings.Bellamy and Clarke have to have it out.This has Bellamy/Echo to start, and I have tried to be very fair to their relationship as I have no problem with it and I genuinely respect Echo as a character and other peoples ships, but this is a Bellarke endgame fic, just fair warning. Thanks.Lots of sorting things out, (Clarke and Raven, for example,) interaction between lots of different pairs, while also moving the plot along a little!Who awaits them on the planet?





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke could feel Bellamy's heart racing as he pulled her tighter to his chest. 

How had they done it? How had it come to this? The human race, destroyers of earth. 

Clarke looked up at Bellamy's face, his gaze fixed straight ahead, tears falling steadily from his eyes. He grieved for his family. All Clarke wanted was to comfort him, but things were still... difficult, and Jordan needed them too. She broke away slightly from Bellamy's embrace, the loss of her touch bringing him back into the moment, shaking him from his thoughts.  
He looked down at her, and she subtly gestured toward the boy behind them. Except he wasn't a boy, he was probably older then Clarke, and knew more about what was going on than they did. And yet, he was their friends child, their boy, and now, Clarke and Bellamy's responsibility.  
Clarke spoke first, her voice soft.  
'I’m so sorry Jordan, about your parents.’  
He offered her a brave smile.  
'Thankyou. I knew maybe what to expect, but, it feels like I just saw them, you know?’  
Bellamy understood the feeling exactly.

Over the next few hours, the three of them talked a little about what their next steps should be.  
They decided they wouldn't wake everyone right away, there weren't nearly enough rations to sustain them all, and they had no idea what kind of resources the new planet had.  
Clarke was fairly certain that they would all need nightblood to survive a place with two suns, so they would have to synthesise some.  
And finally, they needed to try to communicate with the planet, and see if there was anyone down there. Surprise arrivals to the ground had not worked out too well for them in the past.

Bellamy asked if he could wake his friends first, to give them the news of Monty and Harper's passing.  
‘Of course,’ Clarke agreed, as did Jordan, anxious to meet them all, though Bellamy thought it would be best if he made himself scarce at first, just until he’d had a chance to explain everything to them.

Bellamy and Clarke made their way to the cryo pods, but once there, Clarke realised it might be better if Bellamy woke them alone. She wasn't entirely convinced they'd be happy to see her.  
Bellamy wasn't sure he agreed, but he understood her reluctance, and allowed her to hang back.

He woke Raven first, her smile bright as she sat up, still so impressed by the tech.  
'That was ten years? It felt like minutes.’  
Bellamy merely smiled back, concealing the truth for now. It was best if he told them all together. Still, Raven was perceptive as ever, immediately she noticed the rest of the cryo chambers lying undisturbed, everyone still slumbering peacefully, and the mournful look in Bellamy's eyes.  
'Did something go wrong?’  
Bellamy avoided the question.  
'Could you wake Emori and Murphy?’  
Raven nodded, solemnly, knowing better than to ask anything more, trusting him to explain when he could.  
Then Bellamy made his way over to Echo.  
She awoke much more violently than Raven, having panicked at the enclosed space when she’d entered the pod. As the glass had closed around her, she'd felt breathless and trapped, her heart pounding fiercely as she had fallen under, and that feeling was still present as she came around. After being caged for so long in mount weather, small spaces were not her thing.  
She sucked in the air heavily.  
'Its ok, I’m here.’ Bellamy soothed, and she held tightly to his arms.  
He helped her up, but Echo remained quiet, still disoriented from the ordeal. He gently guided her towards the others, who were now awake too and all gathered in the doorway.  
Raven and Emori were both supporting John, who was still recovering from his injuries.  
As Bellamy headed out, he looked around for who was missing, noticing that Clarke hadn't joined them.  
'You guys head to the bridge, I’ll be there in just a second.’ He told the group. They did as instructed, while Bellamy hung back to talk to Clarke, finding her hovering at the back of the room. 'Aren’t you coming?’  
She chewed her lip anxiously.  
'I don't want to intrude, you all need your time together. It's ok, I’ll stay and wake Madi in a little while. ’  
Bellamy was torn. He wanted to make Clarke feel like part of the group again, and assure her that she was one of them, always, but he knew it would take time. She was clearly struggling to reconnect after being alone for so long, and he knew she feared the others would not be so easily forgiving of her past decisions as he had. If she wanted time with Madi, he needed to respect that.  
'Ok. But you don't have to do this alone.’  
He smiled warmly at her, a smile which she returned, though it didn't quite reach her eyes, then he left to meet the others.

The group grieved together as they were given the news.  
John shook his head, part of him clinging to the belief that this was some sort of elaborate joke. Monty was a better person than him, he should be here. He had saved him. His heart betrayed him over and over, fighting the grief, wanting to feel angry, screaming at himself, this is why you don't let people in! But he couldn't let himself become that person again. He had come too far, learnt too much. Monty and Harper had been such a huge part of showing him how to love, and he vowed to take that lesson with him. Emori held him tightly, until he eventually allowed himself to cry.  
They had all lost so much.  
Raven just stared at Jordan. His eyes were kind, his smile bright. How could he look so much like both his mother and his father?

At the same time, Clarke had woken Madi, and was also trying gently to explain the situation.  
'Madi, I’m sorry, but, Earth, it was never coming back. Monty said this was the only solution.’  
Madi tried to comprehend the enormity of it all. Shallow Valley was gone, she had already known this, that it had been destroyed, but she had fallen asleep believing it would grow back, just as beautiful as ever. Now she knew the truth. Earth was gone, forever.  
'It can't be. He had no right to do this! To take us away from our home while we slept!’ She yelled, tearfully.  
'It was gone, Madi, completely uninhabitable. Without the plants there's no oxygen, no food sources. Monty wouldn't have done this if there were any other way.’  
'No! I don't believe you!’  
Madi bolted, running towards the bridge, with Clarke chasing after her. It couldn't be, she had to see for herself.  
'Madi stop!’ Clarke called out, not wanting her to interrupt the others.  
But Madi burst through them all, and was met with her first look at the new world, and it's two suns.  
The group stared at her as she broke down, feeling her pain vividly. She may be the commander, but she was just a child, how could she begin to deal with this, when they could barely process it themselves.

 

Over the next few days, they began the task of waking people, just a few at a time. First, Abby and Jackson, so they could begin synthesising the nightblood. Then Raven woke Shaw, to aid her and Jordan in attempting to communicate with the ground.  
They made the decision to wake Diyoza too. Despite their colourful history, she was the only one with deeper knowledge of the Eligius 3 mission.

One fairly typical afternoon, Bellamy joined Clarke as she organised the rations.  
'How’s Madi doing now?’ He ventured.  
'Ok, I think. She's decided to focus on how she's going to explain all this to her people. I've tried to tell her that she doesn't need to lead anymore, not under these circumstances, but she's determined.’  
Bellamy still felt guilty at his part in all of that, and decided in that moment to do everything he could to help her. 'She wants to take care of everyone, she learned that somewhere.’  
She raised her eyebrows unconvincingly at the compliment.  
'Maybe. I worry though. We can't go to a new planet and make the same mistakes. War, commanders, none of it matters. We have to be the good guys.’  
Monty's words had echoed through her head for days. Despite their last days together on Earth, and Clarke's betrayal, he and Harper had still trusted Clarke to lead, and to take care of their child. It meant everything to her, and she wasn't going to let them down.  
'We will be.’ Bellamy responded, ‘Why do you think I haven't woken Octavia yet.’ He half joked, and Clarke smiled. He always picked the worst times to make light of a situation.  
'You forgave me, Bellamy. Maybe there's a chance for Octavia too.’  
'That was different.’  
Clarke wasn't going to probe any further. She still didn't know why he had forgiven her so easily, but she was grateful for it. She swiftly changed the subject.  
'The nightblood’s coming along, once we get the group treated we’ll start waking the others, a few at a time.’  
'Sounds good.’  
'Still nothing from the surface?’  
'Nope. Raven said the additional sun interferes with the readings, gravity, solar something...she needs to make some more adjustments.’  
'Sounds, complicated.’  
'Yep.’ Bellamy had tried to understand, by he wasn't afraid to admit it was completely over his head. Thank god for Raven. 'Are things better between you two?’ He asked.  
Clarke furrowed her brow slightly.  
'If by better you mean she's stopped leaving the room every time I enter, then yes. But she still won't talk to me. I don't blame her.’  
'She will, she's hurt, but she’ll get there.’  
'Bellamy, because of me she was tortured. I made her feel like she didn't matter to me. I wouldn't talk to me either.’  
It hurt Clarke so much to know that Raven hated her, she just had to hope that they could find their way back, one day.  
'You know Clarke, at some point you have to stop punishing yourself. We all went through too much to get here. We wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you.’  
Bellamy made it sound so easy, but Clarke knew it wasn’t.  
'That doesn't erase the fact that I almost got you all killed.’  
'Clarke. I forgive you. You gave me forgiveness when I didn't deserve it, you gave me the chance to be better. Even after Madi...' His eyes wandered for a moment, still saddened by his choice, 'But, we all have a second chance now. Just remember who you are. Not as a leader or Wanheda, just Clarke.’  
Clarke watched his features intently, there was so much sincerity in his eyes.  
'I’m not sure I even know who that is anymore.’  
'Well I do. I always have.’  
Clarke smiled, and Bellamy looked upon her, understanding now how much she needed his kindness. Clarke had always struggled to ask for help, taking too much on her shoulders, and he wanted desperately to show her that she wasn't alone anymore, that she could rely on him. And for himself too, he wanted so much to feel that connection to her again, a connection that had always given him such comfort.  
He strained against his instinct to reach out and touch her, struggling to figure out where the line was between friendship, and something else- that something more intimate that he felt, that lay hidden just below the surface.

Over the next 14 days they continued their efforts to communicate with the ground, but still nothing, though Raven was able to say with certainty that there was life down there. They woke the others gradually, just a few at a time to preserve rations, and gave them the nightblood treatment.  
A few of Madi’s loyal followers refused to have it at first, sighting sacrilege of the commanders blood, but Madi was quick to deal with it, and Clarke was impressed.  
‘Our culture, the line of the commanders, they're important, because we learn from them, and we grow, but they won't save us now. Science will.’  
Clarke always knew how special Madi was, she never questioned her ability, it was the target that specialness placed upon her back that she feared.  
Bellamy stood beside her as they watched Madi speak, noting her once again furrowed brow.  
'I’m sorry, Clarke, it’s my fault that Madi's in this position.’  
She turned to look at him.  
'No. I mean, yes, but it's ok. I know this was her choice. I just wish she understood what it really meant for her. She might have the wisdom of the commanders, but she's still a child. I’m glad she has you to advise her.’  
Bellamy had been a great comfort to Clarke during the last few days, as she forced herself to step back and allow Madi to lead, and Madi always took his advice eagerly.  
'Well, you’re doing great.’ He assured her, 'I remember how it felt, letting Octavia have her independence. As much as being trapped in one room on the ark was hard, at least I knew she was safe there.’  
'And we know that turned out great.’ She smirked a little, and Bellamy laughed. It was so nice to hear Clarke joking again. Then she continued, 'Have you spoken to Octavia since you woke her up?’  
He shook his head.  
'I’m saving that treat for later.’  
Clarke raised her eyebrows.  
‘Things are only going to get more chaotic. Talk to her while you have the chance. Something's always around the corner, make the most of the calm before the storm.’ Clarke implored.  
'The calm before the storm.' He repeated, ‘I like that.’  
'Something Diyoza said, feels pretty true of us.’ Clarke shrugged.  
'You’re probably right, still, I’m going to chose to ignore it.’ Bellamy replied flippantly, throwing her one last smirk before leaving, and Clarke's stomach flipped.  
  
For Clarke, the last 2 weeks with Bellamy had been incredible. Their minds had been so in sync, their conversations open and easy. They'd been constantly in each others pockets, but she never tired of him.  
But her feelings for him were far from simple, and at times, she’d wanted to pull away from him. Each time she was faced with the reality of their situation, her gut told her to run, to put her walls up, but every time she did, he would seek her out again. He refused to allow her to disconnect from him, and the knowledge of that was a lifeline to her, keeping her tethered to him.  
Still, some days, it hurt her heart to be near him, so close, but not close enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Echo paced the room, the lack of space feeling suddenly suffocating. Their fights were becoming more common place, but they never seemed to get anywhere. It just felt like the same conversation on a loop.  
This time, it was about Bellamy and Clarke allowing Madi’s followers to inhabit their own section of the ship, under Madi’s guidance, until further negotiations could be made.  
Echo felt a firmer hand should have been used, forcing them to integrate. Her experience told her that separate factions would only mean trouble. But for now, Bellamy and Clarke just wanted to keep the peace.  
'And does my opinion count? Or just Clarke's?’ She fumed.  
Bellamy knew he had to tread carefully.  
'Of course it does, we just think -’  
'I can't hear this again!’ She snapped. How could one small word hurt so deeply? We.  
She knew exactly why. Because ‘we’, used to mean the two of them. Now, it meant him and Clarke. It wasn't jealousy, or hatred, she respected Clarke, even admired her sometimes. It was the feeling of Bellamy slipping further and further away from her, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it. He didn't even seem to realise, which only frustrated her more, but every day the cracks between them grew wider.  
'I have to get out of here.’  
She grabbed her sword from the bed and headed out. Maybe a little sparring with Raven would help.  
'Wait!’ Bellamy moved quickly, positioning himself in the doorway and blocking her exit. He placed his hands gently on her upper arms. 'I know this is hard, but we have to do this right, we can't make the same mistakes.’  
She sighed heavily, the knot in her stomach growing tighter.  
'You’re telling me things I already know. It's not about the choices themselves, I agree, mostly. You used to value my contribution, Bellamy. You don't even ask me for my view anymore before you make a decision. A decision that affects all of us.’  
Bellamy searched for the right words, but faltered.  
'We needed to act quickly, and…’  
We. Every time, like fingernails clawing at her chest.  
She should have kept talking, opened up to him, explained exactly what she was feeling, but she was too terrified of what the outcome might be to carry on.  
Maybe they could fix it, make things right again, but what if they couldn't? She loved him, and though it hurt so much to continue their relationship this way, she wasn't ready to let go of him yet.  
She placed a hand on his face, and forced a smile.  
'I just, need a minute. Ok?’  
He nodded, relieved that she seemed a little better, and stepped aside to let her pass, failing to notice the tears just beginning to form in her eyes, as she walked away.

As Bellamy watched Echo leave, taking a second to work through what had happened, he noticed Octavia standing in her doorway across the hall, staring at him. He knew that look.  
'Not now O.’ He turned and went back into his room, but before he could shut the door, Octavia was inside.  
'Fighting again?’  
'Not that it's any of your business, but we’re fine.’  
Octavia wandered the room, absentmindedly.  
'Didn't sound fine. Didn't sound fine yesterday either, or last week.’  
Bellamy folded his arms and leaned back against the wall.  
'If you're here to stir up trouble, it won't work.’  
Octavia stopped for a moment, then sat herself down on the bed.  
'I’m actually not. I know you think I hate Echo, and you're not wrong, but, I don't like seeing you like this.’  
'I know you're trying this whole, caring sister thing again, but it's sort of too little too late, don't you think?’  
'No, I don't. I think I was wrong, completely, and I'm working on making things right. I'm willing to put in the work, however long it takes. So here I am. So, do you want to know what I think?’  
'Not even a little bit.’  
But Octavia ignored him and pressed on.  
‘Stop lying to yourself. I know you think you love her, but, I also know what being trapped for all that time feels like. You were alone, you needed someone. What other choice was there? You’re too close to Raven, and the others were already taken. You were lonely.’  
Bellamy shook his head in disgust.  
'It wasn't like that at all. We grew close, over time…’  
‘Yeah, sure, you watched her grow, became family. But that's not real love. It's convenience.’  
'You have no idea what you're talking about. You weren't there. You didn't see her change.’  
'So you couldn't love her until she changed?’  
'That's not what I meant. Don't twist it.’ He snapped.  
‘I'm not saying you don't care for her, I know that you do, but it's not real love, romantic love. You have a chance at real love, right in front of you, and you’re ignoring it out of loyalty. Even Echo deserves better than to be second best.’  
‘She's not. What do you care, you hate her.’  
‘Watching you, this past week, you and Clarke being... you and Clarke, Echo, standing on the sidelines, do you know how hard that must be for her?’  
'She is not on the sidelines. She's as much a part of this as anyone. Don't take it out on us because you’re feeling shut out.’  
'This isn't about me. Trust me, I don't deserve to be anywhere near power, it's toxic for me. Besides, you and Clarke have slipped right back into your old partnership. There's no room for anyone else.’  
'We make decisions as a group, O. There are no dictators here.’ He added, pointedly.  
'Cosy group. Your girlfriend and the woman you love either side of you. How long do you think you can keep that up?’  
Bellamy said nothing. He was never any good at lying to her, so again she pushed further. 'You can't keep having it both ways. Sooner or later, someone's going to get hurt. Clarke having to watch you two together, the pain in her eyes. You can't keep Clarke close like this when you're still with Echo, and you can't string Echo along when you're so intimate with Clarke. It's wrong and you know it.’  
‘Clarke and I, we're -’  
‘What? Friends? You're not friends. You were never friends. You know that. You want to know what real love is?’  
There were a lot of things Bellamy wanted to say to this. What did she know about love anymore, after what she'd become, but too much long held guilt over Lincoln's fate prevented him from answering, so he remained silent.  
‘When we landed on the ground, you were a jerk. What happened, with me and mom, It broke you for a while. My generous, thoughtful brother, was now just a man, willing to knock anyone down to survive. I know you were doing it for me, but it was wrong. And then, I saw you, with Clarke. She put her faith in you, even when you maybe didn't deserve it. She saw the real you, the Bell I always knew. You wanted to be a good man again, for her. She didn't change you, she just reminded you of who you are. And you loved her for it, you wanted to keep her safe. Not to mention, you poisoned me, Bell!’  
Bellamy raised his eyebrows.  
'You had it coming.’  
'Maybe. For a lot of things, but you didn't do it for any of those reasons. You did it for her.’  
‘I…It's not like that anymore. Too much has happened.’  
‘I told her I'd make sure you survived the fighting pit. I don't think she ever thought I'd actually hurt you. I told her she could take Madi away and she’d be safe. Then I sent one of my warriors to kill them both. Of course, Clarke being Clarke, she survived. I should have known better, but...she still needs you. I see it in her everyday. Yes, she’s broken, but we all are. You deserve to feel real love, Bellamy.’  
Bellamy had been trying so hard not to deal with his feelings, to think about everything he knew, but Octavia was not going to let him hide anymore. He sighed and sat down next to her on the bed. He had to let it out, finally.  
‘Madi, told me something. About Clarke. That she called me, everyday while we were on the ring. That she cares, more than I know. I don't know what to do with that.’  
Octavia couldn't hide her smile, so pleased that he’d opened up to her, but quickly remembered, this was about him.  
‘If you know how she feels about you, you can't keep doing this to her. One way or another, you need to talk to her. And Echo. Face this head on.’  
He stared down at his feet, pulling distractedly at a loose thread on his trousers.  
'I love Echo.’  
'Not enough. Not like she deserves. Tell me you don't think about Clarke.’  
Silence. She continued.  
‘Even if you are confused about your feelings, the least you should do is let Echo go until you figure out what you want.’  
Bellamy looked up at her, curious.  
'Why are you doing this? You’ve wanted us all dead at one time or another, now suddenly you care about our feelings?’  
'Honestly, I think spending time with Jordan’s weakened me. He's so... nice. Also, I'm really bored. Not being in charge leaves you with a lot of free time.’  
Bellamy found himself smiling. He wanted to be strong. He’d promised himself he wouldn't let his sister off so easily, but she was his sister, and a part of him missed her so much. The other part of him was still suspicious, and couldn't shake the feeling that she had a hidden agenda. But that didn't mean she was wrong.  
'Thanks.’ He placed his hand gently on top of hers. 

A second chance, for all of them.

 

Octavia left him to his thoughts, but he still wasn't ready to face it all. He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes, pushing it all away. Just as he felt himself drifting off, there was a knock at the door.  
He heaved his body upwards, drained of energy, and forced himself to answer. It was Shaw.  
'Hey, this a bad time?’  
'No, it's fine come in.’ It wasn't like Shaw to just drop by, they were still just getting to know each other, he must need something, and then it hit him, 'Did Raven send you?’  
Shaw ran his hand over his head sheepishly.  
'Yeah, sorry, she just wanted me to check in with you, see if you're ok, Echo came by and…’ He trailed off. He had no real interest in getting involved, but Raven had been insistent.  
'Yeah, things have been… I don't know.’  
‘Yeah. You know she would have come herself, but it's hard for her, she’s in the middle. She cares about you and Echo. Clarke too, though she won't admit it.’  
He resisted the urge to protest. Why mention Clarke in the same breath as his relationship with Echo. They were separate things, this wasn't about her. But what was the point? Clearly everyone already had their opinions.  
'Yeah, Ravens been known to hold a grudge. But you're right, she’ll forgive her in time.’  
'I think she wants me to be mad too, but, we’ve all done things we regret, I get it. Clarke was alone, all she had was the kid, you cling to whoever's around.’ Then Shaw stopped suddenly, correcting himself, 'Sorry, I didn't mean...it's different with you and Echo.’  
Bellamy hadn't even considered the implications of what Shaw was saying towards his own situation, but nodded at the apology.  
'Wow,’ Shaw continued, 'I am really bad at this. Look, if you do want any advice, I’m here, I’m neutral, I don't know you or Clarke or your history, but I can tell you, the way you look at her sometimes…’  
'How?’ Bellamy frowned, questioningly.  
'Like, ok - I don't know what it was like for you guys, growing up in space, but...when I was 15, I ran away from home for a while. I had nowhere to go, no money, I just hopped a bus and left. Ended up at the coast, and I remembered thinking, i’d never seen the ocean before. I walked to the beach, and just, sat there for hours, staring out at the waves. It was just as beautiful as I thought it'd be, you know, perfect.’  
'Perfect.’ Bellamy repeated, softly, and Shaw gave a small nod.  
'I guess, that's how I'd describe it, the way you look at her. Like you're seeing the ocean for the first time.’  
Bellamy took a moment. Shaw could see that what he’d said had landed, and knew it was time to go, this guy had a lot of thinking to do.  
'Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. If Raven asks, I helped, ok?’ He joked, patting Bellamy on the shoulder casually, and Bellamy smiled.  
'Yeah, thanks, big help.’

Shaw left, and once again, Bellamy was alone with his thoughts. It seemed everyone was determined to force him to confront his feelings.  
But it wasn't that easy. Where did he even start?  
He loved Echo, didn't he? He thought he loved Echo, but had the limitations of their surroundings pushed them together?  
No. He knew it was more than that. He had watched her learn and grow and accept her mistakes. He admired her strength and the incredible openness that she’d shown in adapting to the ring and learning about technology.  
But what if she hadn't changed? What if she hadn't set aside her grounder roots? What if she had remained loyal to her people? Would he have loved her then?

He didn't even want to begin thinking about Clarke. He already knew how deeply he felt for her. Part of him always wanted to go to her, desperate to cling to her, now that he knew she was alive, the remembrance of the grief he'd endured still weighing heavily.  
However, though it hurt him to admit it, a part of him didn't quite trust her anymore. She was different, harder, at times, but then in other moments, she seemed so lost.  
He knew how hard she was trying, and how much she wanted to honour Monty's legacy, be the good guy. But he knew there was that piece of Clarke that would do whatever it took to save her people, and despite the bridges they had built, he wasn't sure if that included him anymore.  
Inspite of his doubts, he loved her. He knew somehow he always would. Octavia was right, she’d always believed he could be a good man, a good leader, she'd given him so much strength. He loved how smart and driven she was, and he'd especially loved the past two weeks, getting to know her all over again, and see the lighter side of her too, the side she rarely let anyone see.

His head throbbed, and he lay down again, closing his eyes, hoping things would seem clearer in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

At some point during the night, Echo had returned to their room, and slid herself into bed next to Bellamy. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, but neither of them said a word.

The next morning it was Octavia's turn to be given nightblood. Bellamy had decided to accompany her, but Echo had her doubts about the decision.  
'So, is she forgiven now too?’  
'Echo, it’s not like that. You know some of the others aren't happy about Octavia even being here, let alone being given nightblood. I'm just going to keep an eye on the situation.’  
'I thought you wanted to cut ties with her? That's what you said, Bellamy. That you didn't want her to drag you down or manipulate you any more.’  
Bellamy sighed, scraping for a good reason, but the fact was, Echo was right.  
'I know. I'm not, but...she's my sister.’  
Echo stood up and faced him, placing her hands on his arms, which were folded tightly in front of him.  
‘I'm not saying that you shouldn't go, I’m just reminding you of what you said. She's not your responsibility anymore. Let Miller take her.’  
Bellamy took a step back towards the door.  
'I can't. I have to go, can we talk about this later?’ He leaned forward to briefly kiss her, which she did not return, then swept out of the room without another word of explanation, leaving Echo alone to wonder if he would ever take her advice again.

 

He returned much later, and Echo had been waiting for him, determined that this time she would finally open up and tell him everything she was feeling. She was ready to see this long needed conversation through to the bitter end.  
'How did it go?’ She asked, as Bellamy shirked his jacket off and threw it on the bed.  
'Relatively uneventful. She's resting now, I told her I'll check in on her later.’  
Echo raised her eyebrows.  
'So you have forgiven her then?’  
Bellamy sighed and slumped down heavily onto the small, metal chair in the corner.  
'Do we have to do this now?’  
'Yes. It can't wait any more Bellamy. You do remember she tried to kill you.’  
‘She was trying to lead. In a way I can't condone or understand, but…’  
Echo grew angry at receiving such a casual response from him.  
'But what!? Her regime cost hundreds of lives, Bellamy. It was brutal! But it's ok, right, because she's your sister? But my people, the things they did, you called us savage's.’  
'Echo, what does-’  
But Echo interrupted.  
'Azgeda, they did things that, I know now were wrong, but they were my people. I gave up all of my beliefs, everything i’d ever known, because I realised it wasn't right.’  
'And what? You regret that now?’ Bellamy threw back, frustrated, not understanding at all what point she was trying to make.  
'No. What i'm saying is, I had to earn your forgiveness. For three years I proved my worth, tossed my beliefs aside, relearned everything i thought I knew, begged to be heard by you. Three years Bellamy. But Octavia, Clarke, all the things they did…’ She paused, taking a shaky breath, ‘I was the only one forced to seek redemption for my actions.’  
Bellamy took a second to think.  
'I guess I get how it seems that way, but I didn't know you then. I do now.’  
Echo rubbed her forehead, exasperated. He was still missing the point.  
'And what if I was still a grounder Bellamy, would you love me then? What if I had returned to Azgeda?’  
'There is no azgeda.’  
‘What if there had been?’  
He leaned forward, hands clasped together.  
‘Why are you doing this? All these hypotheticals? None of that happened, and you wouldn't have made that choice, that's not you anymore.’  
Echo shook her head, it still wasn't enough, he was still dancing around it, not giving her a real answer.  
‘What if I had killed Clarke?’  
‘What?’ Bellamy reeled back, shocked at the question.  
‘I almost killed her, Bellamy. She had left you to die, she betrayed us. She was on the wrong side of the war. I would have been justified to do it. Would you have forgiven me for it?’  
‘You wouldn't have killed her.’  
‘I would have. She was the enemy, I would have done what was needed. Madi stopped me.’  
Bellamy shook his head  
‘I don't believe that.’  
'She left you to die!’ Echo yelled, as he continued to dodge the question.  
‘She also saved our lives! She deserved a second chance, just like you got!’ Bellamy fired back.  
Echo took another second to breathe, closing her eyes briefly, then gathered herself.  
‘You still haven't answered the question, Bellamy. Could you have forgiven me?’  
Echo looked at him, pleadingly, desperate for an answer she already knew.  
‘I'm not doing this. We've all done things, we need to leave them in the past and move forward.’  
‘Yes, we've all done terrible things, yet I am the only one made to repent. Why do you get to decide what is forgivable and what isn't? What about the things that you’ve done, the lives you took?’  
Bellamy fumed. How could she throw that at him.  
'I think about that everyday! I will always carry that guilt, but I did what I thought would keep my people safe. Azgeda only wanted more power.’  
'So your reasons for killing were better than mine? Were Octavias!? Clinging to her throne rather than surrender. And Clarke’s actions were nothing but selfish! Yet, I am the villain!’ She yelled.  
‘You’re not the villain, no one's saying that.’ Bellamy replied, softening his tone.  
Echo pressed her lips together hard, trying to force the tears back.  
‘It's how I feel, Bellamy. How I still feel, everyday, especially when you seem to give everyone around me a free pass. I tread so carefully with everything I say, wondering if it's right, or will you think its the wrong choice, or am i being too ruthless, because I know if I make one wrong move, slip up, you'll cast me out.’  
‘No.’  
‘Yes. One mis-step, and this will end. But Clarke, Octavia, they could make a thousand wrong turns, and you’d still love them. Your love for me is not the same. It's conditional on if what I'm doing is what you feel is right. What about what I think?’  
‘Echo, you have your own mind, I would never tell you what to do, you can disagree with me, i don't want you to be scared to tell me what you think.’  
‘But I am. Because I'm scared to lose you. I'm not your sister, I'm not blood, and... I'm not Clarke. You idolise her, Bellamy, because she died and it hurt so much, and now she's here. I can't compete with that.’  
Bellamy jumped up from his seat and knelt on the floor in front of her, gently placing his hands on her knees.  
'You don't have to.’  
At the warmth of his touch, Echo could no longer contain her tears.  
‘No matter what she does, leaving you to die, leaving your sister to die, everything that you told me, you still love her. You could never feel that way for me.’  
Bellamy’s heart ached at the sadness in her eyes.  
‘Don't do this Echo, don't give up on us. Whatever's going on around us, it doesn't have to affect what we have.’  
‘But it does. We're on borrowed time, Bellamy, and I can't live like it anymore. I know you love me, but it's not enough. Raven said I can stay with her.’  
Bellamy stood up suddenly and backed away from her.  
'You already planned this? You were always going to end it?’  
Echo looked up at him.  
‘I hoped maybe, we could really talk. But you still won't admit the truth Bellamy. Maybe I could live with being second place if you were honest, if you understood how it made me feel, if you confronted your feelings once and for all, and you could move on, but until you accept everything, really decide what you want, then I can't be here.’  
Bellamy bit his lip hard.  
'I don't know what you want me to say.’  
'Yes you do. But you can't, because you know it would be a lie.’  
Bellamy was getting really sick of other people telling him what his feelings were, when he had no idea himself.  
'Don’t turn this onto me. You're the one giving up on us.’ He spat.  
Echo knew there was no point arguing anymore. He was angry and hurt, lashing out at her. He just couldn't see his part in why she was leaving.  
She left in silence, Bellamy refusing to even look at her, hating the thought that this was how they were leaving things. But what more could she do? If he refused to recognise how much their relationship had changed since Clarke's reappearance, then they could never hope to repair what they had, if that was even what he wanted. And, if she was honest, she wasn't even sure it was what she wanted anymore.

  
____________

Clarke tried her best to re-stitch Madi's trousers following an unexpected growth spurt, but today her fingers just didn't seem to work how they should. She fumbled with the thread and poked herself over and over with the needle. It was no use.  
Finally, she threw them down in frustration, as Madi looked on.  
'Do you want me to try?’ The girl asked sweetly, and Clarke smiled.  
'Madi, your sewing skills are about as good as mine. Maybe I could ask Bellamy to help, he’s really good at this kind of thing.’  
'Really?’ Madi asked, surprised.  
'Yeah, his Mom was a seamstress. But don't go telling everyone, it's a skill he likes to keep secret, or everyone would be asking.’  
She smiled at the thought, then left Madi to try to salvage what she could, and went to seek out Bellamy, finding him alone in his room.

He pulled the door open sharply, and it made Clarke instantly uneasy.  
'Clarke.’ He stated, coldly.  
'I’m sorry, I can come back if now's not a good time.’  
He wasn't sure why he was being so shitty with her. He ran his hands over his face and tried to shake the feeling off.  
'No, it's fine, i’m just having a bad day. What do you need?’  
'Is everything ok?’  
Bellamy wasn't sure if he should answer, but he forced it out.  
'Echo’s gone.’  
'Gone?’  
‘Left me.’  
'I’m…’ She wasn't sure what to say. She had made it a point not to get involved with their relationship, not because she disapproved, but purely for self preservation, 'I’m sure you can work it out, just give her some time.’  
‘No, she's done with me. I don't blame her.’  
He sat himself down on his bed, shoulders hunched. Clarke had never known him to wallow in self pity like this.  
‘Bellamy, no. She's lucky to have you, we all are. I'm sorry.’  
‘Are you really sorry?’ He asked bluntly, and Clarke was taken aback.  
'Of course, I just want you to be happy.’  
‘Sure, when it suits you.’  
‘What does that mean?’ Clarke frowned, upset. Why was he attacking her?  
‘You know what it means. Right now you care, because we're on the same side. I'm not in your way. The minute I am, you'll throw me aside.’  
‘That's not true. Where is this coming from?’  
Bellamy couldn't meet her eyes. He knew he was hurting her, but couldn't seem to stop himself.  
'I'm sorry, Clarke. I'm just stressed, I shouldn't take it out on you, you should go.'  
Clarke was definitely not in the mood to be his punching bag post break up, but at the same time, clearly he had things he needed to say that he had been holding back. She’d always felt like he’d forgiven her too soon, and that eventually the cracks would appear. She stood still, defiant.  
‘No, we can’t leave it like this Bellamy. I know I haven't exactly been very forthcoming with how I feel, but, you are so important to me Bellamy. You have to know that.’  
He finally looked up at her, and she smiled at him, hoping this admission would be enough, but he did not return her expression.  
‘How would I know that, Clarke? Which part of our history shows me that, huh? Leaving me to die. Pointing a gun at me?’  
Clarke stared open mouthed.  
‘But, I couldn't shoot you, i could never...’ She trailed off, knowing how ridiculous she sounded.  
‘Fine, you wouldn't kill me yourself, but you'll leave me to die, let someone else do it.’  
'I…’ She couldn't form any more words, her throat felt raw, like she was choking.  
‘What. You care about me? That's what Madi says. Is she right?’  
‘Yes.’ She managed.  
‘Then tell me. Tell me why I should believe that.’  
He wanted her to tell him anything, to open up about the calls, to just give him some proof that he meant something to her.  
‘I wasn't thinking, when I left, I was so angry at you, that wasn't me. I would never do that again.’  
All of a sudden, Bellamy stood up, his whole body shaking with anger and hurt.  
‘But it was you Clarke! I could've died. Was it worth it?’  
‘No! No... Madi’s all I have, and you promised…’  
‘She's not all you have! You had me! I was right there, but you kept me at a distance.’ He yelled.  
‘You promised me you'd keep her safe! You betrayed me.’ She screamed back.  
‘I was saving you! It was all for you! I poisoned my sister Clarke!’  
Clarke reeled at the admission and stopped shouting, clambering to respond.  
‘For, for everyone, for peace, for -’  
‘For you Clarke! She was going to execute you, so I poisoned her. She could have died! But I couldn't lose you. Because I'm an idiot. You had no problem when it was my neck on the line.’  
Clarke’s eyes filled with tears. How could she ever make him see that wasn't true.  
‘I hated what I did. The second I left! I wish I could take it back but I can't! The Bellamy I knew would never have put a child in danger, I thought I could trust you!’  
He dragged his hands through his hair in frustration, but finally lowered his voice, exhausted by it all.  
‘It's not good enough anymore Clarke. I thought I'd forgiven you, but I haven't.’  
‘Why? Why now?! I thought we were ok.’ Clarke instinctively reached out to touch his arm, almost pleadingly, but he drew back sharply, shaking his head.  
‘Because, here I am again, following you blindly, the good little knight, right? No matter what you do, how many times you leave me, I always forgive you. And why? Why do I do it?’  
He urged her to tell him. She had to know why.  
‘We need each other, we've been through so much...’  
‘Do you need me?’  
'Always! Please, I can't do any of this without you.’  
‘Well, you almost had too. I really need you to go now. I'm, I'm not... I shouldn't be talking to anyone right now.’  
He took two large strides towards the door, swinging it open forcefully, refusing to look at her.

Clarke left immediately, without saying anything else, her head down, her body shaking, her feet working automatically as she made her way through the corridors. The sounds around her were muffled, she could barely see through the tears.  
Suddenly, her chest felt tight. Her breathing became unsteady. She stood back against the wall and gulped at the air.  
'Clarke?’ Raven caught her as she slid downwards, falling to the cold metal floor, 'Come on, let me get you home.’ Raven put a strong arm around her and supported her all the way back to her room.

Once there, Raven sat Clarke down and ordered Madi out.  
'Sorry kid, but I think we need some grown up time right now.’  
Clarke managed to look up at Madi and gave her small nod.  
Madi wasn't sure what was happening, and was really worried, but she knew how much Clarke had wanted to mend things with Raven, so she gave them their space.  
'Are you ok?’ Raven asked, though clearly she knew Clarke wasn't.  
'Yes.’  
'Liar.’ Raven replied, teasing, and it made Clarke smile. Slowly, her breathing evened out again. Ravens presence was very calming.  
‘Raven, I don't deserve your kindness, really. I'll be ok, I just got overwhelmed, that's all.’  
‘Look, you can talk to me. I was pissed, I was, but I’ll get over it. I guess I’d had you on this pedestal, you know, from that time you died for us all. But you're a person, a real, flawed, human person. I get that now. I just thought I meant more to you than that. When you turned me over, it hurt. I thought we were friends.’  
'We are.’  
‘Then why did you do it?’  
‘I was so far gone, I couldn't see my way back. All I wanted was Madi safe. I left Bellamy to die. It had to be worth it, if I'd done that, and she still got hurt, it was for nothing.’  
‘Why did you leave him?’ Raven couldn't help but ask.  
‘I wish I knew. Madi was my whole world, I thought he understood that, and then, I thought maybe he didn't care about me at all, like I thought he did. It felt as if he was just using my child to save his family, a family I wasn't part of. I thought we were done, that me and Madi were nothing to him. It was like we were just pawns in his power games with his sister.’  
Raven raised her eyebrows disapprovingly.  
'After everything you guys had been through, how could you think that?’  
'He said about his family, I thought I wasn't part if it. I know what I'd do to save mine. That flame in Madi’s head, it was like a death sentence. I was so scared. Then Octavia tried to kill us…’  
‘Have you told him all of that?’  
‘Didn't get a chance, between the shouting. We had a fight, we both said things…’ Clarke closed her eyes at the thought, his angry shouts still ringing in her ears.  
'Ahh, that's why you're upset. Look, maybe it's good, you both aired some stuff, you know, now you can build on it. Be honest with each other.’  
‘You really think there's a chance he'll still listen to me after that?’  
Raven shook her head. How was it that she still didn't know.  
‘Yes Clarke. He's not mad at you, he's mad at himself.’  
‘For what?’  
‘For caring about you again. For not being angry with you, when he knows he should be.’  
‘He seemed pretty angry.’  
‘People lash out when they're hurting. Trust me, give him space to cool off, then try again, and I mean it, tell him everything. If you don't, you could lose him for good.’  
It was hard for Raven. Bellamy was her best friend, Echo like a sister, and Clarke - she was Clarke. Their friendship had weathered so much, they had so much important shared history. She wanted them all to be happy, but still, a part of her felt like she was betraying Echo.  
'Thankyou.’ Clarke smiled gratefully at Raven, which she returned.  
'Anyway, now I've fixed you, I was actually coming to find you all.’  
Clarke’s head jolted upright.  
'Is there news?’  
‘We think we've finally calculated the best landing spot, we’re ready to head down to planet.’  
This was big. Clarke shook off her emotions and put her leader hat on again.  
‘Ok, we need to gather the others and talk this out.’  
Raven nodded.  
'I’ll do that, Clarke. You take a minute to rest, ok. Meet us on the bridge in an hour.’  
Clarke shook her head.  
'We shouldn’t waste time, I’ll be ok.’  
But Raven was insistent.  
'No, I’m making time. You need some headspace, Clarke. An hour won't hurt. I've got this.’  
Clarke knew she was right, and was honestly, relieved. She more than trusted Raven to take charge on this one, and she was unbelievably happy to have Raven back in her life again, right when she needed her.  
  
As Raven left, Clarke lay back on her bed and tried to shut everything out, but the look of disdain on Bellamy’s face was etched in her mind, and would not go away.  
Raven was right, they had to work this out, or she'd lose him forever.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Clarke and Madi had arrived on the bridge, all the necessary people were already gathered together.  
'Finally.’ Snapped a clearly impatient Bellamy. ‘Raven, can we start now?’  
Clarke was about to apologise to him for keeping him waiting, when Raven caught her eye and shook her head slightly.  
Raven knew Bellamy all too well. Right now, he was still venting, and when he was in this kind of mood, it really wasn't worth trying. Then she stepped forward, Shaw by her side, and gave them all the news.  
'So now we have to decide. Are we ready to go down there?’  
Murphy was the first to offer a reply.  
'What other choice do we have, we’re running out of food. It's land or starve. I know which gets my vote.’  
'Come on John. You know you're over simplifying this. We don't know what's down there.’ Emori countered.  
'But we do know what's up here, and that's nothing. What exactly is the alternative?’  
Jordan gave a small cough to show he wanted to say something. He still felt a little intimidated speaking up during group gatherings, but his parents had always taught him to be fair minded, and he wanted to balance the argument.  
'Cryo. We could put the majority of people back to sleep until we know for sure what's on the surface.’  
'They’re not gonna like that. 125 years is already too long. We can't ask people to do that again.’ Bellamy’s tone was much gentler now, and he smiled at Jordan. He didn't want to shoot down Jordan's ideas, pleased that he was feeling confident enough to contribute, but he knew that the suggestion of more cryo would be met with anger.  
However, there were other factors in play too, that Raven had yet to share.  
'Look, I don't want to be the bearer of more bad news, but the fact is, this ships been flying for 125 years. That's a non stop power drain, and without any proper checks. We need to land the whole thing, and soon, before we fall out of the sky.’  
Diyoza had been listening carefully all this time, waiting for the right moment to be heard. She had been surprised when Raven had asked her to join them on the bridge. When the group had first woken her up, they had questioned her many times about her knowledge of the Eligius 3 mission, but since then, she hadn't been permitted to be involved in any more meetings, until now. She appreciated Raven asking her along.  
'You shouldn't take this whole thing down right away. Not without doing recon on the surface, just like when we came to Earth. Send a team down in the smaller ship first.’  
Raven nodded, grateful for the input. Then naturally, she looked to Clarke, who had been standing silently in the corner this whole time, observing.  
'Clarke, you're quiet. What do you think?’  
Clarke had been reluctant to join in with the conversation. Maybe she was imagining it, but it was as if she could feel Bellamy’s angry gaze upon her, judging her. She swallowed.  
'I think Diyoza’s right. Recon first. A small landing party.’  
'Leaving whoever goes down there completely exposed and vulnerable.’ Bellamy jumped in, instantly disagreeing with her. Clarke couldn't help but wonder, did he actually think it was a bad idea, or was he just determined to oppose her?  
'We want peace with whoever's down there. We’re not a threat.’  
Bellamy stood tall, arms folded.  
'We weren't a threat to the grounders, Clarke. They still murdered us.’  
Raven stepped in at this.  
'Ok. We're getting off the point now. Yeah it's risky, but I guess risky's all we have. So who's volunteering?’  
At this, everyone in the room raised their hands.  
'I'm up for getting the hell off this ship.’ Murphy quipped.  
'John, you're still recovering, that's not a good idea.’ Emori placed her hand softly on his wound, a gentle reminder of how close she had come to losing him.  
'You worried about me.’ He smirked, and then, in a surprising display of sweetness, he placed a kiss to her forehead, 'I guess I’m out.’  
'Emori, maybe you should stay too. We can't send all our pilot's down at once.’ Raven suggested. Along with Shaw, she had been teaching Emori the controls, and she was an incredibly fast learner. It made sense to keep a pilot safe, just in case. Plus, Raven knew that John wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of Emori going without him, no matter how capable she was.  
‘Jordan, Madi, you're staying too.’ Clarke added, and they both immediately protested, but she ignored them. ‘It’s not up for discussion. Not only is it too dangerous, you're both needed here. Jordan, you’re the only one who can work all the systems on this ship, and Madi, you need to keep your people in line.’  
‘My people will want me to be the first on the ground. I am the commander.’ Madi objected, but as much as that were true, Madi just really hated being left behind.  
‘Well you can tell them the commander is my child, and she's not going.’  
‘I could stay too. Keep an eyes on things.’ Echo offered. She had been nervous for some time at the emerging factions on the ship, and didn't like the idea of leaving them unattended.  
‘Thank you, Echo.' Clarke replied, sincerely, 'But If you're up for it, i think we’ll need your skills on the ground.’  
Echo gave a short nod in agreement.  
Diyoza also tried to volunteer, and as useful as she would be, given her impressive background, she was now 6 months pregnant, and Abby had serious worries about the effects 225 years of cryo had put on her body, so she advised against it.  
'You will need a medic down there though.’ Abby put forward, offering her services, but Raven shot her down.  
Raven wanted to be understanding of Abby's addiction, and what she had done because of it, but in her heart, she was still struggling with their relationship, and rebuilding the trust between them. Abby had apologised to her, a lot, and Raven had essentially forgiven her, but it was another step altogether letting her back into her life, one she wasn't ready to take just yet.  
‘We'll ask Jackson. Miler too, some extra muscle wouldn't hurt.  
Ok, so that's me, Shaw, Echo, Clarke, Bellamy. Jackson and Miller. Weapons?’  
‘We don't want to appear hostile.’ Clarke answered, Monty's words still at the forefront of her mind. But once again, Bellamy would not hear her.  
‘We also have to give ourselves a fair chance to survive. We're not offering ourselves up to be picked off just because you want to play at being the good guy.’ He snapped, directing all his frustration fully at Clarke.  
The others reeled from the tension, but knew better than to get involved.  
Echo couldn’t understand why Bellamy was so angry with Clarke. He should be mad with her, it was their relationship that had ended. She had left him. But he hardly even looked at her, instead sniping at Clarke every chance he got.  
‘Are we done?’ He finished.  
‘I guess so. We’ll get the ship fuelled and ready to go, everybody else get some rest, we leave tomorrow.’  
Bellamy stormed out, not stopping to speak to anyone, and Murphy and Emori exchanged a look.  
'What’s going on there do you think?’ Emori wondered.  
'I’m sorry, I’ve been so wrapped up in our bubble of love I haven't noticed.’ John teased, wrapping his arm around her as they left. She raised her eyebrows at him in response, and that was all it took. 'Fine, I’ll go check on him.’  
Emori narrowed her eyes and shook her head, but she couldn't help smiling.  
'You're such a good friend.’

As the others filtered away, Clarke stayed behind to talk to Raven. She’d had an idea of how to mend things with Bellamy, but first, she needed to borrow something.

______

Murphy eventually caught up with Bellamy as he marched his way purposefully down the corridor.  
'Hey, bud. Feeling snarky today, 'cause you know that's my job.’  
'Not now Murphy.’  
Murphy rolled his eyes. Why did everyone always say that to him?  
'So what did Clarke do this time?’  
'What?’ Bellamy snapped, increasing the pace of his footsteps.  
'You're pissed at her. What did she do?’  
'Nothing. I’m not pissed at her.’  
'Right, you always speak to her like that.’  
Bellamy stopped suddenly  
'What, are you on her side now?’  
'Ha! So you are fighting?’ Murphy announced, victorious, ‘And no, not taking sides, just offering you an ear. It's a big day tomorrow, you'll probably want to be at your best. You and Clarke are gonna need to do that super team up thing that you do, so whatever it is, maybe work it out, ok?’  
Bellamy took a breath and threw his head back. Murphy was right, tomorrow was too important to mess up.  
'Yeah.’ He sighed, reluctantly.  
John patted him heavily on the back, before turning to walk away. Murphy already knew that Bellamy was a good guy, who would do the right thing, but sometimes, even good guys needed a little push.

______

Bellamy made it back to his room, kicking himself for his behaviour. He was letting everything get on top of him, and taking his anger out on those around him. He needed to refocus. He sat himself down on the cold floor, closed his eyes, and slowly breathed in and out.  
Echo was gone. That was his fault. Not Clarke's. He had been different with her. How many meetings had he been in with Clarke, making decisions, where he'd forgotten to even ask Echo along? And just now, his every contribution to the discussion had been in rebuttal to Clarke. Had he even acknowledged Echo’s presence?  
She had been right to leave him. He hated to admit it, but his heart had been drifting away from her for some time now. She deserved better than that, and he owed her an apology. He just hoped he wouldn't lose her from his life completely.  
Now he had to figure out why the hell he was so mad at Clarke.  
He’d thought he’d forgiven her, that he understood what Madi meant to her, and why she had done what she did. But clearly, that was something else he’d been refusing to deal with.  
He could see that Clarke was trying so hard to be good. But it wasn't her. She wasn't making balanced choices anymore, and it probably had everything to do with the guilt that she carried after leaving him in Polis. All her choices were about keeping the peace, and up until now he had gone along with it. But they were both going to need to start making the tough decisions again soon, if it turned out the planet was hostile.  
It was noble of her, to want to be the good guy, but life just wasn't that simple.  
He knew that he should talk to her about it, before they landed on the new planet, and got themselves into trouble.

He was just beginning to feel more like himself again, and a hell of a lot calmer, when there was a light tap at his door. He opened it to find Madi standing there. Before he could say anything, she passed him something.  
'Here.’  
It was a radio. He frowned at it curiously.  
'Is this for tomorrow?’  
'No. Oh, I forgot.’ She quickly snatched the radio back from his hands and spoke into it.  
'He’s got it.’ Then she passed it straight back again.  
'Madi, what…’  
'Just promise me you’ll hear her out, ok?’ Madi turned on the spot and left, smiling to herself at her part in this.  
Bellamy stepped back inside his room and shut the door, still unsure of what was happening, when he heard her voice.  
'Bellamy?’  
'Clarke?’  
'I’m sorry I know this is strange, but please just, bare with me, ok. If you're willing?’  
He felt awful. Had he hurt her that much that she couldn't face him.  
'Clarke, we can talk in person. You don't have to do this.’  
'I’m kind of used to it. I know I haven't told you much about my time on the ground after praimfaya, but I want to, now, if you'll listen.’  
He owed her that.  
'Ok.’  
'Ok. So, after praimfaya, I didn't know if you had even made it to the ring. I couldn't stand not knowing. I found a radio, patched it up, attached it to a satellite dish. You know I'm not exactly, technical, but I did the best I could.  
Then things got...I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I needed you to know that you did the right thing, leaving me. I was so proud of you, Bellamy. I knew you'd be struggling with it, because you're so good, and you’ve got such a big heart. You take so much on yourself, but it was the right choice.  
Then, I found the valley, and I wanted you to know i’d be ok. That there was a home waiting for you, so I called again. And again. It became, a need. I needed to talk to you. So I did. I called you everyday, Bellamy, for 2199 days, and everyday, I held out hope I’d hear your voice.’ She took a breath. She’d done it. She’d actually told him.  
'Clarke…’ Bellamy tried, but what could he say? He was so happy she was finally telling him the truth, but a feeling of guilt weighed deep in his stomach. Here she was, ready to open up about this incredibly personal thing, when he’d already known for weeks. Well, 125 years actually. He said nothing more, so she continued.  
'I thought I'd never be able to open the bunker, or see my Mom again. The thought of seeing you, It was the only thing that kept me going some days. You were my lifeline, Bellamy. I’m so sorry I didn't tell you that sooner. Anway, that's all I wanted to say, I’m sure you're busy. I don't expect your forgiveness, but I need you to know, I,... I care about you so much. Please don't doubt that. I always have. I know you wanted proof, but all I can give you is my word. When I let you go to Mount Weather, I know you thought I didn't care, but, i hated every second. It was our only plan and I had no real reason not to let you go, except that, I didn't want to risk you. I was being weak. And when Roan took you, before praimfaya, I gave up 50 places in the ark to get you back. I...I know that's terrible, and selfish, trading other people's lives for yours, but I did. I don't know if telling you that will just make you even more disgusted with me, but I couldn't lose you. The truth is, I don't know what lengths I'd go to, to keep you safe, and that scares me. I'm so sorry, Bellamy.’  
Bellamy tried to take it all in. He knew he should say something, but nothing he could think of sounded right, or enough. Clarke continued on.  
‘Ok, I'm gonna go. I’m sorry about the radios. I was always more open with you when I was talking to you over them, so I thought…’ Clarke trailed off and sighed, ‘Ok, I’m rambling now. I’ll see you tomorrow.’  
She was about to switch off, almost not expecting a reply, so used to waiting, never getting a response, when suddenly, his voice crackled through the silence.  
‘Clarke. Thank you, for telling me. It sounds stupid, but, I needed to know. I needed to know I wasn't alone in this.’  
She closed her eyes. His voice was soft and vulnerable.  
‘You’re not.’ She replied.  
‘I don't know what that means though.’  
Clarke smiled to herself.  
'Does it have to mean anything right now?’  
‘I guess not. Maybe, when things have settled down, we could talk again?’  
'Yeah, I'd like that.’  
'Goodnight Clarke.’  
'Goodnight Bellamy.’  
The two of them signed off, both feeling like a huge burden had finally been lifted from their shoulders. 

But Bellamy’s night was not over yet. He still had one more thing he knew he had to do.

______

Raven hadn’t quite finished all the checks on the ship yet, but she was too exhausted to do much more. The rest would have to wait until the morning.  
When she got back to the room, Echo was already in bed, but she was wide awake, staring at the ceiling.  
'Is everything ready?’ Echo asked her friend, who flopped down next to her.  
‘No. But if I don't lie down I’ll fall down.’  
Echo flipped around in the bed and began rubbing Ravens leg. She knew it was what Raven needed, but could never ask for. Raven just smiled at her.  
'I thought you'd head to Shaw's tonight.’ Echo teased, suggestively.  
'Not tonight. Tonight, I actually need to sleep. How are you feeling about tomorrow, landing on a new planet. Are you worried?’ Raven asked her.  
'I’m more worried about being stuck on a new planet while Bellamy and Clarke are at each other’s throat. Do you know what that's about?’  
'Sort of. I don't know if…’  
Echo shook her head.  
'I’m sorry. I shouldn't put you in the middle.’  
Raven sat up and looked earnestly at Echo.  
'You know who you should be asking, right?’  
'I thought he would still be mad at me, but, what he did was even worse. It was like I didn't exist to him. I suppose it's been like that for a while actually.’  
'You should still talk to him though. You guys need closure.’  
'You don't think there's any hope for us then?’  
Raven was taken aback. She hadn't realised what she'd said, or that Echo had been holding out hope for a reconciliation. Echo continued. ‘It's ok, please, I want you to be honest.’  
‘I think, you deserve someone who is going to worship you. Someone who will make you their whole world. I just don't think he can give you that. I'm sorry.’  
Raven threw her arms around Echo, though she knew she would probably hate feeling so vulnerable, or receiving sympathy, but surprisingly, she gripped her tightly in return.  
The moment was interrupted by a knock at the door, which Echo answered.  
Bellamy stood sheepishly in front of her, his hands pushed down into his pockets.  
'Is this a good time?’  
Raven offered to make herself scare, despite being exhausted, but Echo wouldn't hear it.  
'No, you need to sleep. We’ll go for a walk.’

For Echo, it was nice to walk beside him again, side by side. It was odd, but it made her feel powerful.  
‘I hate how we left things.’ He started.  
‘Me too.’  
'I came over because, I wanted to apologise. You were right. I did push you out, treat you differently. I didn't want to face up to that. I’m sorry, Echo. You deserved so much better than that.’  
She caught it. The use of the past tense. She wasn't sure what she was expecting when he had arrived at Ravens door, but as he spoke, she knew it was over. This was goodbye. She listened in silence as he continued. 'I need you to know, you will always be my family, Echo. That will never change.’  
'I know. Thank You, for the apology. We should all get some sleep now, in preparation for tomorrow.’  
Bellamy was a little thrown, he had wanted to talk with her more, and make sure she was ok, but she seemed satisfied with the exchange.  
'Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then.’  
Bellamy offered her a smile, then continued his walk down the corridor, relieved that he had made things right with her.  
Echo stood in place until he was out of sight, holding herself together.  
She returned to Raven, who was ready with open arms. Echo held tightly to her friend until every last bit of emotion had drained from her. That was all she would allow herself. This one moment, to let it all out, before she closed that door for good.

______

Madi sauntered back to the room she shared with Clarke, very pleased with herself.  
After delivering the radio she had stayed out of the way for some time, to give Clarke some privacy, but she was itching to know how their talk had gone. When she entered the room, Clarke was smiling to herself.  
'You look happy. Does this mean you’ve worked everything out?’ Madi asked, excited.  
Clarke nodded empathically.  
‘I think so, yeah. It feels like a weights been lifted.’  
‘Good. So, if you're in a better mood, maybe you could change your mind about me going with you tomorrow?’  
Clarke laughed. Typical Madi.  
‘Nice try. But no. Madi, I don't want to patronise you, I know how smart you are, but, tensions between the grounders and the prisoner’s have been heightened lately, especially with the lack of resources. I genuinely believe you'll be needed here.’  
Madi rolled her eyes and relented.  
‘Fine, I get it. Do you think it will be weird, you and Bellamy and Echo, all together?’  
‘No. We’re friends. That's all I wanted.’  
‘Really?’  
Madi knew that wasn't true, and couldn't help but tease her a little. It was nice to be able to talk to her like this, she was usually so serious.  
‘Yes Madi. He knows how much I care for him now.’  
‘Did you tell him you love him?’  
Clarke was stumped at this one.  
‘No. I dont...I'm not even sure how I feel exactly. But I did tell him about the calls I made to him, when we were in the valley, and that talking to him really helped, when we were alone. I think it meant a lot.’  
Madi’s heart dropped. Clarke had put herself out there, and Bellamy hadn't told her that he knew about the calls.  
‘Clarke? I...I know I wasn't supposed to, but, I already told him that. About the calls. I knew how much you wanted to make things right with him, so I told him-’  
Clarke’s smile faded.  
‘When?’  
‘Before we went into cryo. I'm sorry, should I not have said anything?’  
Clarke forced the smile back on to her face and reassured a very worried looking Madi.  
‘No, no, it's ok. You were trying to help. It was very sweet. We have a big day tomorrow, let's get some sleep.’

But Clarke couldn’t sleep.  
It had been such a huge moment for her, to tell him everything that she had, only now to discover that he had known all this time, and he hadn't said anything.

______

Bellamy was nervous. He knew he should be focused on the preparations for the journey to the ground, but his mind drifted to a certain girl with unruly blonde hair and eyes like a clear sky.

Since their talk, he’d felt lighter than he had in sometime. He actually had butterflies at the thought of seeing her, and it was a sweet, innocent sensation he had not experienced in a long time.  
He stumbled across her working away, as usual, packing rations.  
‘Hey,’ He offered, softly.  
'Hey.’ She returned, but she did not look up at him. Instead she continued her work.  
Bellamy’s calm was immediately broken. She was busy, of course, but after their talk, after she had opened up so entirely, this was her attitude. Why was she giving him the cold shoulder? Clearly, something had happened.  
‘Seriously Clarke? I thought we were getting somewhere?’  
She jumped straight into it. This was no time for games.  
‘You already knew. About the calls. Why didn't you tell me?’  
‘I wanted you to want to tell me yourself, in your own time. To open up.’  
‘Do you know how hard that was for me? You were so angry, you said you didn't know if I cared about you, but you knew -’  
‘I didn't know anything! It was second hand information. All I had in front of me were these two Clarke's. One who's apparently missed me, who’s called me everyday, and one that left me to die. I didn't know what to think. You can't be mad at me for that.’  
She was pushing him away again, but they had come too far this time for him to let her.  
She bit her lip hard.  
‘I really thought that it meant something, last night. Telling you, but it turns out it was nothing.’  
‘That wasn't nothing. I know that wasn't easy for you, but... I wish that it was. I wish you felt like you could tell me how you feel.’  
Clarke shook her head, like it was that simple.  
‘Ok, you tell me how you feel.’ Bellamy blinked at the command, but stayed silent, ‘Not that easy huh?’  
‘No.' He admitted, ‘Why is this so hard?’  
He paused for a second to regain his composure. He hadn't expected a fight this morning, but it was his turn to open up now.  
‘I'm sorry Clarke, for not telling you I knew. I should have asked you about it, but I was scared. Ever since we landed, things with me changed so much. I thought you had died. I grieved for you. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep going, but I swore that I would, for you. And then suddenly, I had you back. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you again, i did things... But you were different. We were different. We both changed. I put Madi in danger, and you're right, I never would have done that before. I'm so sorry.’  
Clarke relented.  
‘I know. And, I understand your reasons behind it now.’  
Bellamy smiled. He knew that she didn't. Not fully. Only he knew.  
'I'm not sure you do, not completely. You have a right to be angry.’  
‘How many times did you forgive me for putting Octavia in danger? None of us are innocent. But I see you with Madi, everyday, helping her, advising her, trying to make things right. We’ve all made mistakes. The question is, are we finally ready to forgive each other? And ourselves?’  
It was a question she had asked him before, but one he had never really answered.  
‘I want to. I thought I had. When I found out about the calls, I thought, maybe there was still a chance, that we could still be... us. I wanted so badly to hold on to who we were before, what we had. The last few weeks, all I've wanted is to be with you, but then, I began to hate myself for it. I should have been so angry with you, the things you did, but I wasn't. I forgave you so easily, and I was mad at myself that I could do that. What does that say about me? That I'm the kind of person that will allow someone to treat me that way, and then let them walk back into my life like nothing happened. That's not who I want to be. I'm different, now Clarke. I think...I think the person you made all those calls to, is gone.’

Clarke took a moment to look at the man in front of her. Everything was laid bare, all the guilt, the hurt, the anger, and the undeniable pull to each other that, despite everything that had happened, was always there.  
In that moment, she suddenly knew exactly what she wanted.

‘I know what you mean. I know I've changed. And yes, you are different. But Bellamy, these last few weeks, you've been my rock, my comfort. My best friend. Maybe you're right. Maybe, before, I was in love with a memory. But now, I'm in love with the Bellamy that's standing right in front of me. You have changed, but it doesn't matter to me. I would love every version of you, Bellamy Blake.’

Bellamy stood open mouthed at her confession. His heart beating harder in his chest than he had ever felt before, his breath caught in his throat. He was completely paralysed by her words.

Clarke said nothing more, she just gathered her supplies and swept out of the room, leaving Bellamy in stunned silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took a while! Here's a super long chapter!

After leaving Bellamy to absorb her revelation, Clarke made her way directly to say her goodbyes to Madi and her Mom.  
It was strange, she had held on to her secret so tightly, for such a long time, so scared to ever utter those words, but now she had, she felt - fine.  
She didn't want to wait around for his reaction, she knew he’d need time to process her words, but strangely, she was no longer worried about the consequences of her confession. Even if he didn't return her feelings, it would all be ok. As long as she had him in her life in some context, she’d find a way to be ok.

 

She held Madi tightly, breathing her in, then cupped her face in her hands.  
‘Take care of everyone, but most importantly, stay safe. We won't be able to communicate with you, but i’ll be back as soon as i can. I love you.’  
Madi squeezed her again.  
‘I love you too, Clarke.’  
Next, she stood in front of her Mom.  
'Keep her safe for me?’ She smiled.  
'Of course.’ Abby nodded, forcing a smile in return, but she seemed much more anxious then Clarke had anticipated.  
'We’ll be ok mom.’ She tried to reassure her.  
‘I know you will. I have so much faith in you Clarke.’  
But Clarke was confused by the mixed messages her mom was displaying.  
'Then, what is it?’  
Abby took a deep breath.  
‘This is the moment of truth. If there's nothing down there, no medicines, no doctors, then I can't wake Marcus. I can't save him.’  
Clarke hadn't even considered the repercussions for Kane. She had been so focused on who or what they might encounter, it hadn't entered her mind that there might be nothing at all.  
'We’ll find something, I’m sure of it.’ She tried, wanting to comfort Abby, but the words felt empty. She couldn't be sure of anything, and she knew all too well how it felt, trying to stay hopeful when there was no proof or reason to be.  
She hugged her mother tightly before leaving to meet the others at the docking bay.

________

With Raven and Shaw at the helm, the ship set off towards the planet. Miller and Jackson were in deep conversation with each other, which left just Bellamy, Clarke and Echo together.  
Bellamy didn't know where to look. He held Clarkes words deeply in his heart. He wanted to say something, to assure her that he was happy she had told him, but he needed to speak with her privately, to explain.  
He knew he wasn't ready to reciprocate yet, not because he didn't love her too, but because, he wasn't sure he was ready for what it would mean. If he opened up, let himself be with her, he would never let her go again, and right now, they have a mission, a focus, and that had to be the priority.

Instead of tormenting himself more, Bellamy busied himself with making sure they were prepared for whatever potentially lay in wait for them below.  
'Ok everybody, gear up. I want everyone to take a weapon.’  
He passed a gun first to Miller, and then to Jackson, who took it tentatively, as if it might burn him.  
Nathan smiled at his boyfriend, and helped him tuck the pistol into his belt.  
'Its ok, you don't have to use it. I'll be right beside you.’  
Jackson returned his loving gaze, and leaned into him, but despite the sweet moment, Miller seemed distracted.  
‘Are you alright?’ Jackson ventured.  
Nathan sighed.  
‘This was what my dad wanted for us, to rebuild the world. I thought that's what we were going to do in the valley. Instead, here we are, so far from any kind of home. I want this to be our second chance. I need it to be.’  
Jackson smiled at him, reassuringly.  
'It will be.’ It has to be, he thought.

Then Bellamy moved to hand Echo a gun.  
'Its ok, I’m prepared.’ She stated, showing him the sword strapped to her back.  
'Fair enough,’ He nodded, knowing full well she could take care of herself, ‘but I'd be happier all the same if you took a pistol too.’  
Bellamy wanted her to know he still cared. He always would.  
Echo smiled at the gesture, and took it. 

Next, he offered a gun to Clarke, but she stepped back from him, her arms folded. He knew that look. Why was nothing ever easy with her?  
'Clarke, just take it.’  
'No. I'm not doing this. I'm not going into this with the assumption that anyone down there is hostile. This is a peaceful mission and turning up weapons pointed doesn't exactly give that impression.’  
Bellamy rolled his eyes.  
‘Clarke you're being ridiculous. I'm not saying we go in there weapons raised, but we at least need to be carrying, just in case.’  
‘No. I won't do it. I have to believe that we can find peace, if I go in there armed, then I've already failed.’  
'Clarke, you're being completely reckless, we have no idea who's down there,’ He turned away, infuriated, taking a second to will himself not to lose his temper. Then he turned back to her, leaned in close, and whispered, ‘I'm not losing you just so you can make a point.’ He looked at her pleadingly, trying to make her understand.  
Clarke's heart skipped at beat at his closeness, and she appreciated the sentiment, she really did, but this was something she refused to budge on. In the past, it had proved all too easy to give in to violence, to convince themselves there was no other choice. She couldn't bring herself to do that anymore.  
‘No. You can't change my mind on this. I know you think this is just about Monty, or my guilt, for what I've done, but it's not. I want this to work. We should have one diplomat at least, right? One unarmed person, solely there to negotiate, as a show of good faith to whoever's down there.’  
Bellamy could understand her reasoning, though it was a stretch, but he wasn't worried about what impression they would make. His only concern was keeping her safe,  
and it was why, for exactly that reason, he was so reluctant to pursue his feelings for her right now. He needed a clear head.  
‘Fine, but stay close to me, ok.’ He relented.  
‘Not a problem.’ She replied, playfully, smiling up at him.  
Her flirting broke through his stern demeanor, and he couldn't help but smile back.

________

The journey was not too long, and they landed without incident.  
There was a feeling amongst all of them, a desperation to broach the surface, but they had to patient.  
Now they were on the ground, clear of any interference, the first thing they needed to do was to try again to communicate with anyone who might be there. Raven sent out a beacon, and awaited a response, her stomach in knots, as they all held a collective breath.  
'This is Facilitator Firth, responding to the distress beacon. Does someone need help? We saw your ship land.’  
Raven smiled widely, and she leapt into Shaw’s arms, hugging him tightly. Clarke let out a small laugh of pure shock. A person. An actual person. Only Echo’s face remained stoic and cautious.  
'Facilitator Firth, my name is Raven. We are the last survivors of Earth, and we’re seeking sanctuary.’  
‘Earth. We’ve had no communication for 200 years, I see you finally made it! We’ve been tracking your ship orbiting our planet, we were wondering when you were coming down. We've been waiting a long time to hear from...anyone!’  
'Our systems couldn't break through the solar disturbance, we weren't sure if there was anyone down here.’  
'Well, it sounds like you have a story to tell. We’re an hour or so away from you, but I’ll send a party to your landing sight to meet you. I must warn you, with two suns, the heat is intense, and the additional radiation can cause sickness, so you'll have to stay on your ship until we can assess you.’  
The hairs on the back of Clarke’s neck stood up. She didn't like the sound of the word assess, and it immediately put her on alert.  
'That’s ok, actually…’ Raven replied. She was about to explain that they had all been treated with the nightblood solution, and could withstand the radiation, when suddenly, Clarke's protective instincts took hold. She held out a hand to gesture for Raven to stop.  
Raven looked at her puzzled, and turned off the com.  
'Clarke, what?’  
'I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't tell them everything right away. Let's find out who they are first.’  
Bellamy couldn't help but smirk a little.  
'So much for trusting them.’  
Clarke merely raised her eyebrows at him, and allowed Raven to continue.  
'Sorry, we got cut off for a second. Thank you, that's very generous. We’ll wait for you here at the ship and we can talk, explain who we are. And maybe you could do the same?’  
There was a moment of silence before his reply.  
'You don't know? I thought that's how you came to be here?’  
'Not exactly. A lot’s happened since you left Earth.’  
'Sounds like it. Well be along soon. Remember, do not leave your ship.’  
Raven signed off. Now she was beginning to feel worried.  
'Why is it that he tells us not to leave the ship, that's the first thing I want to do.’  
Shaw nodded in agreement.  
'Yeah, kind of feels like we're sitting ducks.’ The others frowned questioningly, 'Old expression. We’re an easy target.’  
'Right. So do we just sit here and wait?’  
Bellamy stood tall, hands on his hips, weighing their options.  
'We have to. We have no idea if we're outnumbered, or if they really are peaceful, but either way, they hold the power. We have to believe that they mean well.’ He looked to Clarke, pointedly, and she smiled at him, appreciating that he’d heard her. She in turn, wanted to show him the same respect.  
'At least we have some time to prepare, get our story straight. Let's be cautious.’  
It was nice, for both Clarke and Bellamy, to work together seamlessly as a team again. They took a little from each other, and hopefully, with Clarke's new found optimism and Bellamy’s thoughtful planning, they could find the best way to approach the situation.

As one hour turned to two, the group felt ever more anxious, until finally, the systems on the ship picked up a vehicle in the distance.  
They opened the doors in preparation, and Bellamy stepped forward. He stood in the entryway, hands up, ready to be confronted.

The vehicle ground to a halt 20 feet from the ship. It was not too dissimilar to their old rover, but a little bigger. The back was uncovered, and filled with around 10 people, all crammed together.  
The majority of them exited the vehicle immediately, with shields raised, and stopped just outside of the doorway, until an impeccably well dressed man with slicked back hair, walked through the middle of them, completely unarmed and unprotected.  
'Now, now, I’m sure there's no need for that, but down your shields. I’m Firth, and welcome to Norves.’ He smiled, rather patronisingly, as he approached Bellamy.  
'Bellamy Blake.’  
'Blake? Interesting. Mr. Blake you really should stay back inside, it isn't safe. Could you gather all your people on your bridge. We will board your ship and begin the first inspection.’  
'Inspection of what?’  
'Move aside please.’ It was not an order, his sickly sweet tone did not alter, but Bellamy knew somehow it was not a request to be ignored.  
All the while, Clarke had stood just to the side of the door, listening closely. She gave Bellamy a nod, and he did as he was asked, allowing the group to board, and followed Clarke to the bridge where the others were waiting.

With hand held scanners, the new people meticulous combed through every inch of the ship, until finally giving the all clear.  
'Now, if you could please hand over all of your weapons, you'll have no need for them here.’ Firth asked, his tone polite but firm. They threw their weapons to the ground in front of them, Echo more reluctantly so with her sword.  
'I want that back.’ She stated coldly.  
'You won't have any need for it. No weapons, no fighting. I'm afraid we can't allow it.’ Echo's fists clenched at her side, but she remained calm.  
'It’s sentimental.’  
Firth smiled widely at her, his eyes soft.  
'Dear girl, an item of war should not be something you cling to. Memories of bloodshed, these are not thoughts to hold on to. We are...above that.’  
Echo did not appreciate his tone, or his opinion. But Echo was not a diplomat, and as much as it pained her, she knew she had to let it go.  
Clarke could see how difficult it was for Echo, so she spoke on her behalf.  
'You have to understand, it's not a symbol of war. It’s one of the few remaining artifacts of Earth. We have nothing left of our home, we had to leave very quickly. Our world is gone, and we are all still grieving the loss. There are few things we have left to keep, that remind us of where we came from.’  
Firth took a moment to consider Clarke, sizing her up.  
'You have suffered greatly, I see that. But I must protect the life we have built here.’  
'Of course. Could you tell us about your world?’ Clarke swiftly deflected from what was clearly a difficult subject, to what they needed to know- Where the hell were they, and would they even be welcome?

Firth began his story, of their ancestors setting off on a mission to find a new home, as Earth had been so close to self destruction. It had taken generations of a space locked crew before they had finally arrived.  
'It took time, a special blood had been developed in order to withstand the radiation, but unfortunately, it cannot be recreated on the ground.’  
'What about bone marrow transplants?’ Clarke asked, confused. They must have deduced that the blood could be passed on in that way. But Firth’s demeanor was unchanged.  
'Incredibly barbaric, don't you agree?’ Then he quickly moved on, ‘Many here are still born with it, passed through the genes. However, over the generations our bodies have adapted. Most who are born now can withstand the atmosphere regardless, evolution of the cells. I'm afraid, your people will not be so lucky, it may take time to adapt.’  
'We can synthesise the blood. And we have.’ Clarke revealed, bluntly.  
'I’m sorry?’  
It was the first time Clarke had seen a genuine reaction from Firth, so she continued.  
'We already have altered blood. The earth suffered from radiation too. We have the treatment. We can offer it to your people, if it's still needed, as part of a negotiation for land.’  
Firth smiled widely.  
'Well, you just get straight to it, don't you?’  
Firth stepped closer to Clarke, and as he did, so too did Bellamy, standing shoulder to shoulder with her. His presence gave Clarke strength.  
'We want to find a place to build a home, a new life. If we can help you, perhaps you can help us?’  
The group all stood behind Clarke, their leader, always a step ahead, always planning, and were grateful for her quick thinking.  
But Firth’s response surprised them.  
'There's no need for a negotiation, or payment. You are all welcome. Our ancestors mission was to set up a new home for mankind. They knew it was only a matter of time before Earth would have to be abandoned. That's why we’re here. This is your home too.’  
Clarke was taken aback by his answer, and the offer of a warm welcome. Her thoughts immediately jumped to mount weather, and the seemingly generous greeting they were given there. But this was not Mount Weather, this was Norves. Clarke was tired of history repeating itself, tired of second guessing every person she came across, always looking for the catch, always waiting for someone to betray them.  
Firth offered his hand to Clarke, and she took it, a firm handshake to seal their fates.  
The next question that weighed on her mind, was how would these peaceful people react, when they discovered that half of their new guests were dangerous criminals?

The group were anxious to get back to the mother ship, to inform the others of who and what they had found, but before they could, they were first invited to see the new world in all its splendor.  
Clarke was eager to get back to Madi, but it made sense to first have a look around, get to know a little more about their hosts, and the way in which the invitation was given was less of a choice and more of an order. Firth had a way with words, and was clearly very adept in telling you what you thought.  
The group were escorted to the city, the hub of this new world, and as they drove, they took in their surroundings. The surface was largely wooded, very pretty, though not quite as wild as the forests of earth.  
Clarke wasn’t sure what she had expected. The only city she had ever seen was the city of light, a work of fiction by an artificial intelligence, but as they pulled up, she was sufficiently stunned.  
It wasn't nearly as large as the city of light, but there were buildings, freshly constructed, clean and well presented, not crumbling and dusty like Polis. And houses. Rows and rows of identical houses. Many people stood at their doorways, staring at the new arrivals as the drove past.  
'Do you get the feeling we’re being paraded through the streets?’ Shaw asked the group, to which they all nodded. ‘Ok, not just me then.'  
It was definitely uncomfortable, but understandable too. They likely wanted to show their people that the new arrivals were just like them, and not a threat.  
Echo had been hanging back, feeling a little redundant. Had she been brought along purely as muscle? Was she really needed? When Clarke, keeping a fixed smiled on her face, leaned slightly into Echo's side.  
'What's your take? I can't get a read on these people.’  
'Something's off. But then, I thought that of your people too.’ She raised her eyebrows. She still wasn't convinced she had been entirely wrong about that, but she was learning to take each person as they were, and to try not to make snap judgements without hearing them out. Still, she was definitely on alert.

Finally, they stopped at an odd looking building, very different to the others. It looked as if it had been fashioned from the old ship the very first settlers must have arrived in. It’s metal walls and joints were poorly welded, and yet, there was something impressive in its stature.  
'This is our community building. It was home to the first generation of settlers before our towns grew to what you see now.'  
They followed him inside and the few soldiers that had accompanied them back departed, leaving Firth to continue their tour completely unguarded. They were soon joined by two other people, who seemed only to be his assistants.  
‘You are welcome to use our amenities while you are here. I'm not sure what you have had access too, but there is plenty of hot water, and I can fetch you all some fresh clothing.’  
'Thank you, but there's no need.’ Clarke replied, still wary, but Firth seemed unsatisfied by her answer.  
'Please, I must insist. It may be best, to help you fit in. Your clothing is, well, you all look like you've come straight from battle.’ He joked, and in response the group all gave each other a knowing look. If only you knew, they thought. Then Firth continued. ‘You are the representatives of your people. We need to give my people the impression that they are safe with you here, and your attire could be considered, rather, aggressive.’  
Clarke nodded, realising they had no choice.  
'That's very generous. Thank You.’ She simpered, reluctantly, though it sickened her to do it.  
'Yes, let's get you all cleaned up, then we can talk. Men if you come this way, ladies, if you could follow Erica.’ He gestured towards the tall red head to his side.  
Bellamy took a step forward.  
'We’re not separating.’  
Firth looked confused by Bellamy’s hostility at the suggestion.  
'Mr. Blake, in polite society men and women do not shower together.’  
'We’re already putting ourselves in a vulnerable position. We’re trusting you. We need to stay together.’  
'Mr. Blake, you are in our home. We want you to be comfortable, but we cannot throw out all our rules to do so. You are perfectly safe here.’  
Firth’s manor was unsettling. His behaviour could be interpreted as accommodating, yet at the same time, he refused to compromise. It made Bellamy question if they were really guests, or prisoners. But again, what choice did they have?  
Clarke placed her hand on Bellamy’s arm, and he turned to look at her. Her eyes told him that she was thinking the same thing.  
'It'll be ok, we’ll all meet again after, right?’ She directed the question to Firth.  
'Of course.’  
The group exchanged smiles as they were pulled apart, with nothing more to cling to then a two word reassurance that they would soon be reunited.

 

Erica led Raven, Echo and Clarke to one of the shower rooms. As she did, she chatted pleasantly to them, though she was a little blunt.  
'Well, you definitely seem in need of a change of clothes. Yours look so worn! How long have you been wearing them?’  
‘125 years. Give or take.’ Raven answered dryly, but Erica seemed unfazed by it, and continued with her polite chit chat.  
Perhaps they had spent too long in conflict, becoming hardened and unfamiliar with basic social graces, but Erica's inane questions did nothing to endear her to them.  
The facilities were similar to those on the ship they had come from, but had been redecorated to seem cosier, less clinical. Weaved baskets full of flower petals sat in every corner, and soft draping curtains covered cold metal walls. The pressure and temperature of the water was also a definite improvement.  
Clarke had to be honest, the hot shower felt good, and they were even given real soap to use. She hadn't felt this clean in longer than she cared to admit. They were each given a towel too. It was an odd novelty, as towels had always been seen to be a waste of material, even on the ark, but it felt great to actually dry off first before putting her clothes on to what was usually still damp skin.  
The clothes themselves were loose fitting, fairly basic cream coloured robes, but they still had a softness to them, as if they hadn't been worn by several people and washed many times before them.  
Clarke understood the drill of being dressed up for show, as she had been for the grounders, and Echo too had her own knowledge of the importance of attire for various customs, but Raven fidgeted uncomfortably in her dress, pulling at the shoulders which refused to stay up.  
She hated this. It was completely impractical. She searched around for her own clothes, determined to change back into them the second they stepped back onto their ship. She scooped them up and clung to them as if they were precious, and in a way, they were. These clothes were the only thing in the world that belonged to her.  
Erica had remained annoyingly close throughout. Clarke had wanted to take the opportunity to talk with Raven and Echo privately, but it was fairly clear to Clarke that neither of them were buying into the hospitality either.  
Echo decided to take the chance to question Erica.  
‘Facilitator Firth, is he a good leader?’  
'Of course. Although, he's not really our leader. We’re all equal here, he just, he oversees everything, sorts out any disagreements.’  
'How does that work?’ She asked, bluntly.  
Erica frowned, but her expression remained cheerful.  
'What do you mean?’  
'What if a disagreement can't be resolved? What happens?’  
The girl looked completely confused, as if she had never in her life considered what might happen if someone simply said no. She completely ignored Echo from that point on, and as soon as they were ready, led them back out along the corridor without a word. The silence was ominous, but they all new better than to try to fill it. Their position was precarious, they had to tread carefully.

 

Firth kept to his word, and before too long they were all brought back together, meeting in what could only be described as a conference room. A large metallic table and chairs sat alone in the centre of it, and a mirror covered the wall furthest from them.Unlike the other rooms they had seen, there were no other decorations here, no soft furnishings or flowers, just the table and chairs.  
Clarke saw Bellamy first, and couldn't hold back a beaming smile as she did. He was dressed in a smart pair of grey trousers and a plain white t-shirt. It was nothing so out of the ordinary, but that was not what struck Clarke the most. It was his face, now clean shaven, and it was like seeing a memory stand before her. She’d missed his face.  
He noticed they way she was looking at him and smiled.  
'I thought it was time.’ He told her, rubbing his hand across his chin, then he took the time to look her up and down. She looked angelic, her blonde hair glistening, the robes draping softly across her curves.  
‘What do you think?’ Clarke asked.  
He tilted his head as if considering his answer.  
‘I always kind of liked the leathers,’ He paused, suggestively, ‘but this is good too.’  
Clarke smiled, trying to enjoy the moment, but her mind quickly switched back to its default, always cautious, and she whispered,  
‘Not practical though, for a quick exit.’  
Bellamy leaned in close once again.  
'Well, let's hope we won't need it.’  
They were asked to take a seat, and offered a meal. The fruit was unrecognisable to them, it had a pinkish tinge and was incredibly sour, but they mostly consumed it gratefully. Firth joined them in the meal, but Erica and the other assistant only stood back and observed, offering refills of their water.  
The whole thing struck Clarke as odd. They been cleaned and dressed as if they were to be presented to someone, but no one else came to join them. And yet, Clarke had the distinct feeling that they were being watched.

As soon as they were finished eating, Firth began another speech.  
‘As I mentioned, We want to welcome you here, but you have to understand, the introduction of any new species to an environment can threaten the whole ecosystem.’  
None of them appreciated being referred to in this way, it made them feel like animals. But Firth continued along this line.  
‘It's a delicate balance. Especially if the invasive species is a predator. It can destroy everything.’ He paused for a second, allowing the comment to sink in, then he smiled, ‘We have to find where you fit. We would very much like you to fit, and to do that, we need to find out everything we can about you.’  
'And we would appreciate the same.’ Clarke was trying her best to avoid the stark truth of who they all were for as long as possible, until she could figure out how to spin it.  
'Well, there's not much to tell, you already know everything, I'm afraid it's not all that exciting.’  
‘Was there anyone here, when you landed? People, animals?’  
‘No people, just creatures, well adapted for the heat and radiation, but nothing out of the ordinary. The planet obviously was in the earlier stages of its evolutionary development.’  
‘When exactly did you arrive. This is 75 years from earth...’  
‘Exact records have been lost I'm afraid.’ Though the words he spoke were somber, Firths expression did not reflect it, and he remained upbeat, ‘I don't think our ancestors were much for chronicling their voyage, but at least 140 years, possibly more.’  
'So, there's no one left who remembers landing here?’  
‘I'm afraid not.’ Firth chuckled to himself, ‘We live long happy lives here, but we're not immortal! But we pass on our history to our children, as much as we can. It's your turn now Miss. Griffin. I have been incredibly transparent. How many are on board your ship, and what kind of people are they?’  
'A mixture. Survivors from the first nuclear devastation of earth, descendants of some who remained on the ground, and some who grew up on space stations. Others that were kept in stasis until the earth was survivable again. But all one people, who need a home.’  
Shaw furrowed his brow a little, and the others stayed silent at her wording. Well, that was one way of explaining it.  
Firth leaned in carefully, his eyes fixed on Clarke's, his voice soft.  
‘Miss.Griffin, something will become apparent to you very soon, but we are not a people to be lied to. In the old world, we heard stories of politicians, leaders- they were very good at talking around important issues, without actually answering any questions, without revealing important truths. We have moved beyond that here. I will ask again, and you will answer.’  
Bellamy slammed his fist down hard on the table, and the others jumped, but Firth did not flinch.  
'Is that a threat?’ Bellamy fumed, though he wasn't sure where the anger was coming from.  
'A statement of fact, Mr.Blake.’ Firths tone did not alter, and he turned his eyes back to Clarke. They bore into her, and she blinked rapidly.  
'The people in stasis were prisoner's from the old world.’ The words fell out of Clarke's mouth without her consent.  
'Well then, we’ll need to look into that, won't we?’ Firth stood up and left the room in one swift motion and the others stared at Clarke, stunned.

Raven was the first to ask.  
'I'm not saying we should lie to them, but do you think it was a good idea telling them like that?’  
Clarke blinked again, lost in thought.  
'I didn't mean to. I, I want this to work, I guess, I knew he'd find out…’ Clarke trailed off. She still wasn't sure if she had meant the words to slip out as they had.  
Bellamy could see the confusion on her face, and he too felt odd. He had promised to remain calm, and yet, he hadn't been able to stop his hand from hitting the table. It was a gut reaction he couldn't control.  
Firth re-entered the room, smiling.  
'We offer you home. All of you. A fresh start for all. Forgiveness is an important trait. Now, let's get you back to your ship before dark, it's not a good idea to be out in it. The temperature drops very suddenly, it can be quite jarring.’  
The group nodded, and followed him obediently. They should ask questions, there were so many details to iron out, but Clarke's mind felt fuzzy. It had been a long day, she was probably just exhausted, and she longed for her bed. 

They reached their ship in no time and boarded in silence. Firth told them to land the larger ship in the same place, as soon as they were ready, and assured them that they would be there to greet them, then finally, he left them alone.  
Clarke was a little surprised he hadn't insisted on someone escorting them back, but was grateful of the breathing space. Then they finally set off back home.

As Raven sat at the controls, her eyes felt heavy. The buttons blurred in front of her. With the last piece of energy she could muster, she punched in the autopilot, just as she drifted off to sleep.

________

Raven awoke to Shaw shaking her shoulders hard.  
'Raven, you ok?’  
She pulled her head back and forth, her neck stiff from the awkward position she had slept in.  
'Yeah, yeah, fine. You?’  
‘Yeah, I'm ok. But, I think we overshot a little.’  
Suddenly, it came flooding back. She was flying a ship. She fell asleep at the wheel of a spaceship! She unbuckled her harness, jumped out of her seat and stared out of the window. Nothing but space. She frantically checked the scanners and breathed a huge sigh of relief as she saw the mothership on the sensors, just a little way behind them.  
'Its ok, we’re not far out. The autopilots had us circling I think.’  
Shaw reassured her, slumping down into the seat she had vacated.  
'Wait, you think? You mean, you fell asleep too?’ Raven looked around, the others were gone. 'What about-’  
Shaw anticipated her question.  
'All fine, but they all passed out too. Miller hit his head, Jackson's watching him. The others are checking the ship. Something happened to us, they're looking for any chemicals or weapon’s that might have been planted.’  
'Am I the last to wake up?’ Raven added, frustrated.  
'Yeah, but don't worry, you look cute when you sleep.’ He teased, but Raven was in no mood, so he rolled his eyes and answered seriously, ‘Only a little after. I think you were the last to pass out.’  
Raven tried to wrap her head around it. What would the people of Norves hope to gain by this? Were they just buying time?  
‘Come on, let's find the others, we all need to talk.’

 

The group gathered in the small medical room where Miller was lying on the bed, still being patched up.  
Clarke rubbed her eyes, still willing herself to stay awake. Bellamy had woken her, pulling her upright and begging her to hear him. She had forced her eyes open, her body physically waking up, but her mind still felt stuck in a dream.  
Echo tapped her foot furiously on the spot, anger boiling inside.  
They all looked amongst each other, but Shaw stepped up first.  
'Fine, i’ll start. What the hell was that? Did you find anything?’  
'No.’ Bellamy replied, 'I don't think it was anything here. I felt weird before, back in the city.’  
'After the food. Do you think they poisoned us?’ Raven jumped in.  
Clarke shook her head slightly, but stopped again instantly, even the smallest movement was dizzying.  
'I don't know. It doesn’t make any sense, I mean, we're all ok, right?’  
Miller dragged himself upright, still holding his head, as Jackson supported him.  
'Speak for yourself.’ He added, gruffly.  
Clarke gave him a sympathetic smile.  
'Jackson, what do you think, could it just be us reacting to the change in atmosphere?’  
Jackson considered for a moment.  
'I guess so, but it's an unlikely reaction, and it doesn't make sense why we were all affected simultaneously. Then again, I've never been on a planet with two suns before, two different gravitational pulls, pulling the planet in 2 directions, it's possible it's an after effect.’  
Bellamy shook his head.  
'You can't spin this one, Clarke. We all want this to work out, but they did something to us. We can't trust them.’  
'We don't know that. I’m not trying to make excuses, I didn’t like them either, but-’  
'Enough.’ Surprisingly, it was Miller that broke through their bickering, rising unsteadily to his feet. 'I’m not here to be caught up in another of your arguments, we all know you'll agree eventually. No, we can't trust them, but it's not like we have a choice. They're in charge, so, we make nice.’  
In response, Bellamy took a step towards Miller, eyes narrowed, arms folded.  
‘Surprising, coming from you. Don't you want to get Bloodreina to wipe them all out, take the place for ourselves.’  
Miller got close to Bellamy's face, then jabbed him hard in the chest with his finger  
‘You still have no idea what it was like down there. Octavia was the only one who got us through it, she saved us, the sacrifices she made for us…You want to hate me, fine! But you don't get to judge me, or her!’  
He took a step around Bellamy, his shoulder bumping him hard as he stormed out. Jackson followed after him, concerned not only as his boyfriend but as his doctor. Raven gave Bellamy a shove.  
'What the hell was that? I thought you guys had worked your shit out?’  
'I don't know, I’m sorry.’  
'Look, I'm going to get us back, but we are going to need to figure out what we tell the others, so get it together, ok?’ She scolded, but it came from a good place, and Raven and Shaw headed back to the bridge.  
Echo stood awkwardly in the silence, unsure of whether it was her place to comment on his behaviour, so she excused herself by suggesting she make another sweep of the ship.

Only Clarke now remained with Bellamy, and she got straight to it.  
'I'm not saying that Millers right, but, there are things that happened in the bunker, things my mom told me…’  
'What things?’  
Clarke looked down at the floor, uncertain.  
‘Once you know, you can't unknow. Are you sure you want to?’  
'Clearly I'm not as over it as i thought. If it could help me to understand...please Clarke?’ His voice was soft and pleading, and though she wanted to protect him from the horrible truth, she knew he needed to know.  
There was no other way to explain it, than just to say the words. Bellamys face fell, the colour drained from his cheeks.  
'My sister did that?’  
‘And my mom.’ Clarke was quick to add, ‘They had to, or they'd have starved, all of them. What would we have done?’  
‘I just, i can't imagine it, I…’  
He squeezed his eyes shut, so many thoughts spinning in his head. He felt sickened, but also, so incredibly sad for all of them, having to live with the thought of what they had done everyday. It must haunt them all.  
Clarkes eyebrows knitted together as she tried to read his face.  
‘If we had been down there, I'm sure we would have made them eat too. Tough choices have to be made sometimes.’  
Bellamy locked eyes with her.  
‘Yeah, they do. Are you ready for that?’  
‘How did we go back to talking about me again?’ Clarke sighed at how he had so deftly changed the subject, but knew him well enough to know he wouldn't drop it, ‘We're not at war this time.’  
‘No, but you didn't trust them either, be honest.’  
‘No, not completely, but that's my issue. We have to make it work this time.’ She implored.  
‘I want that too, Clarke, but there's more to this.’ Bellamy shifted awkwardly, running his hand through his hair, 'The way Firth spoke to you in that room, it got me so angry, but it shouldn't have. The way I acted... I couldn't stop, it was like, my feelings were so close to the surface, I couldn't hold them in.’  
'I know. Me too. In that second, i had to tell him the truth, I couldn't stop myself.’  
Bellamy leaned in a little and lowered his voice.  
'Do you think they poisoned us?’  
Clarke took a heavy breath.  
'Maybe. Something that reduced our inhibitions, made us truthful. There's drugs that can do that. But what we don't know is their intentions. Maybe they wanted to make sure our motivations are honest. That we aren't out to hurt them. Maybe they were just protecting themselves?’  
'Thats a lot of maybe’s.’ Bellamy responded, unconvinced.  
Clarke tilted her head up at him. Sometimes their height difference could be a real pain.  
‘They let us come back to the ship, they’re trusting us not to blow them apart, we have to give them a chance.’  
‘Not sure I share your optimism, but... I’m willing to work on it.’  
The corner of Bellamy’s mouth curled upwards, the beginning of a smile.  
Despite everything, he still had other, more personal things on his mind. He wanted to talk to her about the feelings she had shared with him, but where did he begin? Things were- nice, between them, it felt like they were back on even ground, and he didn't want to ruin that.  
He knew he loved her in return, but to act on it right now, with things still so raw after his break up, all of their futures so uncertain, was not the start that he wanted for them. But he didn't want to make her feel rejected, or drive her away. Was it wrong to ask her to wait for him?  
‘Clarke, I know, we haven't talked, about…’  
Clarke stopped him, and placed a soft hand on his.  
‘Bellamy, It's ok. I don't expect anything. It's how I feel, and it felt good to say it.’ Her expression was warm as she spoke, ‘I hope you know, just having you in my life makes me happy, in whatever capacity that might be. I don't need anything else. Besides, now’s probably not the time either, if we were exposed to something, if we can't control what we say, it's not really fair. If you're not ready, I don't want you to say anything you might not mean to.’  
She meant to finish speaking right there. She had said everything she'd wanted to, but despite telling herself to stop, she found herself still talking.  
‘And honestly, I don't think I'm ready to hear something I really don't want to. I still have hope.’  
Her mouth gaped open in shock. Confessing her love was one thing, letting him know her feelings, but this felt like desperation, and that was not something she’d wanted to exhibit.  
Bellamy too was taken aback by her candor, but the honestly between them was kind of refreshing. And it wasn't just now, or because of the drug, it was how she had been since the moment they had woken up. At times, she was more open, more in touch with her feelings, beggining to let the walls come down.  
He understood exactly what she had meant, when she had told him she would love every version of him. However many times they were reunited, whatever time had passed or events had changed them, shaping them into something knew, he would love her, always.  
All the same, as hard as it must be for her to be so vulnerable, and as much as he wanted to offer her the same openness in return, Bellamy wasn't quite ready yet. But it was comforting for him to know she was still in this.  
‘I,’ He could feel the words coming, but he fought them back. If this was still the drug, then he refused to let it control him. When he told her, it was going to be on his terms, ‘the thing is, what I really want is to ask you to wait for me. I know it's selfish of me, but if we're going with this transparency thing, then, that's what I want.’  
Despite his bluntness, Clarke smiled at the promise of something on the horizon.  
‘I've waited 125 years, what's a little more?’  
Suddenly, Bellamy reached out for her, pulling her in for a hug, holding her close to him. He pressed her tightly against his body and breathed her in. With Clarke in his arms, he felt calm, whole.  
She closed her eyes, the tension in her body melting away…

A large crash from the other room broke through the peaceful moment.  
'Guys! You need to see this!’ Echo's voice rippled through the halls. Clarke and Bellamy sprinted towards the noise, as did the others, and they all found themselves gathered in the ships small kitchen.  
They were greeted by the sight of Echo, standing tall, her hands placed firmly on the shoulders of two small, very scruffy looking children.  
'We have a couple of stowaways.’  
Clarke couldn't speak, and Bellamy on instinct immediately bent down to check if the children were ok. They could only have been around 8 or 9, one boy, one girl. The others all stayed silent, allowing Bellamy to take the lead.  
'Are you ok?’  
They simply nodded in response.  
'Are you from Norves?’  
Again, they nodded silently, looking to each other for cues.  
Raven offered up an explanation.  
'They must have wanted to explore the ship, and got stuck?’  
'We gotta take them straight back, they must be scared-’ Shaw tried, but was interrupted by one of the children, the boy, who yelled a loud, defiant, no, startling them all.  
Bellamy gently placed his hands on the boy’s arms.  
'We need to take you home little man.’  
But the boy shook his head violently.  
'No, you can't go back down yet, it's not safe!’


	6. Chapter 6

Bellamy attempted to calm the frightened children, distracting them with the offer of food, while the others looked to each other, concerned.  
The children ate happily and hungerily, so while they were more settled, Bellamy tried again to question them.  
'Can you tell me how you got on our ship?’ He ventured, softly.  
‘Why do you call it a ship?’ The boy asked, and Bellamy couldn't help but smile at the limited attention span of a child.  
'It's just what they're called. Can you answer my question?’  
The children stopped for a second and looked at each other in silent communication. Then the little girl, who had been quiet up until now, finally spoke.  
'Our mother. She told us to get in here and hide, we hid really well.’ She told then, almost looking to Bellamy for approval, which he gave her with a gentle smile.  
'Yeah, you did. But, why would your mom tell you to do that?’  
The little girl bit her lip.  
'She said, it would be better, if you take us with you, because, we won't be banished anymore.’  
Clarke frowned, trying to piece it all together, a million questions running through her mind. Banished? Still, it didn't explain why their mother sent them away. There many different types of Mothers in the universe, but all Clarke knew for sure was her own heart, and she would never send her child away if she had any other choice.  
She bent down next to Bellamy, and addressed the children.  
'I think you are both very brave. Can you tell me your names?’  
'I'm Gorran, and that’s my sister Enor.’ The boy answered.  
'Very good names.’ She squinted her eyes gave them a broad smile, 'I know you must be very tired, and maybe a little scared-’  
'I'm not scared.’ Gorran interrupted, unconvincingly.  
'Ok. I believe you. But we need to know why you're mom sent you to us.’  
The children looked at each other again, still cautious, but finally began their story.  
It wasn't the easiest to follow, they were clearly smart, capable children, but some of their understanding of the situation must have been lost along the way. From what Bellamy and Clarke could gather, the children's mother had been banished from the city a long time ago, forced to live in the woods alone, and pregnant.  
It was a hard life out there, in the woods, made more impossible by the mysterious ‘something else’ that Bellamy and Clarke picked up on, and that the children were much more reluctant to talk about. It became apparent that their mother had hoped the newcomers would take her children in as their own, pass them off as part of the crew, and then the children could live in the comfort and safety of the city. 

After so much questioning, the children were exhausted, so Clarke found them a place to rest while she relayed their tale to the group.  
'What was their mother thinking?’ Raven questioned instantly, ‘Putting their lives in the hands of strangers? We could have been anyone.’  
Clarke nodded, but countered.  
'Exactly. How scared must she be to send them away? It's a selfless thing for a mother to do, or incredibly risky, depending on your point of view. She must be terrified.’  
'Of what though?’ Echo weighed in, ‘The grounders lived in the forests for decades, surviving off of the land. She's clearly kept them safe and fed all this time, so why now?’  
It was an excellent point.  
'Opportunity, maybe?’ Clarke replied, though it was purely guess work, ‘I don't know, but the kids were spooked by something. When we talked about taking them back, they just kept saying not now, not in the dark. I think there's a lot more going on in those woods then we know.’  
'There's a lot more going on on that planet than we know. What kind of people banish a pregnant woman?’ Bellamy shook his head in disgust at the thought, then continued, ‘We've got a lot of decisions to make.’  
Bellamy was still reeling from the idea that they had been dosed with some sort of truth drug, to then be suddenly faced with having the lives of 2 children put in their hands. It was a lot to absorb. He looked across the room to the slumbering children, feeling an instant protectiveness fill his chest. He frowned, and folded his arms.  
'What do we do Clarke? If we take them in, lie to Firth about who they are, we could be putting everything in jeopardy. But…’ Bellamy trailed off, but Clarke understood his plight.  
'I know. They're just kids, they deserve protection. They're mother must have been desperate, to let them go.' She took a breath, considering the implication of her next question. ‘What could possibly be so dangerous, you'd send your children away like that?’  
As they all silently pondered Clarke's question, Enor sat up, her round eyes glistening.  
‘The Euthvil.’

________

The ship docked with a thud and the airlock shuddered open. Within a second, Madi was there, throwing her arms around Clarke to greet her.  
'You've been gone too long. What happened? What-...what are you wearing?’ She took a step back from Clarke, taking in her strange attire.  
Clarke had almost forgotten she was still wearing the flowing robes they had been gifted, but she'd had more important things on her mind.  
‘I'll explain everything soon.’ She assured Madi, though she wasn't quite sure how.  
‘Does this mean there are people down there?’ Madi concluded excitedly, but from the reluctant nod she received in response, her initial excitement turned to concern, 'Are they...was it bad?’  
Clarke noted Madi’s worry, and purposefully lightened her tone in reassurance.  
'No, no, not exactly. I'm just not sure where to start.’ Clarke wanted to spend the time to comfort Madi, but first, she had a few things to do. She scanned the room, not finding who she was looking for, ‘Madi, where's mom?’  
'Where she always is, med bay. Why?’  
Just then, the two children poked their heads out from around the ships doors, with Bellamy steadfast by their side.  
'We’ve got a couple of new patients for her.’  
As the children made their way slowly down the ramp, taking in the vastness of the docking bay, Madi’s eyes widened in shock.  
'Clarke!? Who are they?’  
‘I’ll explain everything, I promise, but first, I want to get these two checked over. Can you get everyone together, the usual people. We all have a lot to talk about.’  
Madi nodded, nervously, before disappearing to gather the others, eager to be given answers to her questions.

 

Once the group were together, Clarke explained their encounter on the new planet as best as she could, though the effects of the drug had left things, hazy.  
The story was met with varying reactions; Gasps of relief, shock, confusion. No one seemed to know what to ask or where to even begin, except for Abby, whose mind at present was entirely focused on her own agenda.  
'Clarke, did you ask about medical supplies?’ She inquired, impatiently.  
'There wasn't really a chance. It's complicated. After our meeting time felt, odd. I hardly remember, it's just, bits and pieces, really.’  
'Clarke, they're important questions, how could you not-’  
'Mom, stop.’ Clarke interrupted, frustrated. Abby was not making this easy. 'I know you're confused. Trust me, so are we, but the people, the planet, it isn't all it seems. They had some sort of control over us. We couldn't hold back our thoughts, our feelings, it was, unnerving. Who knows what they could use that kind of influence for. If we hand ourselves over to them…’  
Clarke trailed off, the effects of their visit, the confusion, the children, all complicating every decision.  
'But Clarke, without the medicine…’ Abby tried again.  
'I know, Mom. I know we all want a home, a real one, but…’  
Clarke shook her head, trying to explain, but it wasn't coming out right, ‘I'm sorry, I'm not sure i'm willing to sacrifice our free-will for some home comforts.’  
Her mother's face dropped at this, but she stayed silent, her expression a mixture of anger and sadness.  
But of course, Murphy was ready with a response.  
'Well I am! Hot showers, clothes, food, all we've got to do is tell the truth? Sign me up, what you see is what you get with me, I'm always 100% honest.’  
Emori let out a spitting laugh at this.  
‘Really John?’  
‘Brutally so.’ He quipped.  
But Emori was not so open to the idea of living under that kind of scrutiny, not after the life she had lived. Her freewill was hers.  
‘What if this is just the first step? Who knows what else they could make us do?’  
'So they force us to…. what exactly? None of you even know, you're all just guessing! Writing them off, always looking for the snag. But look at you. You're all here, fine. They didn't torture you, or hurt you. You got fed, you got clothes. And besides, It wouldn't hurt any of you to be more honest.’  
‘What, like you?’ Emori frowned, edging closer towards anger. Sometimes John could be so casual about things, so black and white.  
'Yes.’  
'So if they got in your head, asked you private questions, John, and you had no choice but to open up…’  
‘Feelings can't hurt me, Emori, only shock collars.’ He looked pointedly to Diyoza, but Emori continued her questioning.  
‘What if they asked you how you feel about Raven?’  
John took a step back and swallowed hard. That was the last thing he expected her to say.  
The others all looked away, not daring to get involved. Even Raven stayed silent. She didn't much appreciate having her name thrown into the argument, but she and Emori had spoken about this before.  
‘Mori...I.’  
Emori knew she'd thrown him off his stride, which was exactly her intention.  
'Just stop being so stubborn. Our minds are our own, no one has the right to manipulate us.’ Emori’s tone was final, and she turned to Clarke, 'I'm with you, Clarke, whatever you decide. A society that casts people out...and children? It's not one I want to rush to be a part of. I know how that feels.’  
John just stared at Emori as she spoke, only now connecting the dots. He shifted a little closer to her, but said nothing more.

Clarke nodded to Emori, and gave her a weak smile, appreciating the support, but she still felt clueless as to what to do.  
'I'm just trying to figure it all out. I'm scared of what we'd be giving up. I wish we were in a better position to negotiate.’  
Abby had stood back and listened for long enough, and now she was fed up.  
'But we’re not Clarke, and the longer you take, the worse our position becomes. We're almost out of resources, and all you are doing is talking in circles. We're at their mercy, and that's the end of it. It's our only choice’  
Abby's voice sounded defeated and tired, and Clarke sympathised with her, but at Abbys words, Clarke's eyes immediately flew to catch Bellamys. She felt instantly calmer as he met her gaze, and silently handed the reigns to him.  
‘You’re right Abby, we know that. No one likes the idea of putting our lives in the hands of people we know so little about, and our options are limited. But we do have them. We join them, or, we could land and try to set up our own camp, separate to them. I can't say how they'll react to that, and I'm not about starting any new conflicts, but we have real, justified concerns, we can't go in there blind.’  
Clarke smiled to herself as she listened to Bellamy speak. He had such a way with words, his voice was commanding, yet, kind. She couldn't do this without him.

The next question that weighed heavy on Clarke, was what did they do with the children, who were currently being taken care of by Jackson.  
She and Bellamy had already gone back and forth over this during the last part of the journey back.  
They could try to lie, say the children were theirs, but they knew that Firth could not be lied to. So did they tell him the truth, and hope that Firth would welcome them back?  
Perhaps Firth wouldn't notice them, amongst all the others? But if he did, it could put the whole group in jeopardy, for two children they hadn't asked for.  
Perhaps they take the children back into the woods and find their mother? But that felt wrong, somehow, and what if she had moved on already.  
There were too many options, so they once again opened the question up to the room.  
'What if it's a trick?’ Diyoza offered up, ever suspicious, especially after learning everything that had happened on the surface. ‘ What if the children are a plant, to see if you'll lie? A test of some sort.’  
It sounded like a crazy concept, and yet, from what they had learned of the people of Norves, it felt strangely plausible.  
'They're just children...’ Jordan countered, trying to follow the ever increasing conspiracy theories.

The paranoia amongst the group grew with each new discussion, and none of it was helping. Clarke wanted so much to share the responsibilities of leadership, and to make decisions as a group. It had been so hard being in charge, carrying the burden of so many on her shoulders. But part of her knew her Mom was right, they were talking in circles and getting nowhere. It had to stop.  
‘Ok!’ She shouted across the increasing noise and arguments, and everyone grew silent. ‘We go down, we take the children, and we tell them the truth. We insist the children stay with us. If they try to hurt them, take them away, cast them out again, then we have our answer as to what kind of people they are. We leave, and live out in the woods away from their society, and we just hope they remain as peaceful as they say they are. Agreed?’  
Everyone looked around at each other, trying to gauge one anothers reactions. It was a fair compromise, and for the most part, they all nodded, understanding that they really had no other option.  
But Abby wasn't satisfied. Her jaw clenched and her eyes glistened.  
'If you do that Clarke. If we're stuck building our lives from scratch in the woods, no medical supplies, no power source, then you're killing Marcus.’  
Clarke already knew this, and she hated it. She swallowed hard, her throat raw.  
'Im sorry, Mom, but Kane would understand.’  
Abby took a deep breath in, then turned on the spot and left the room. Clarke could only watch her leave, wordless.  
'The grounders lived in the woods, we survived, and we will again, if we have to.’ Echo added in support, which Clarke truly appreciated. 

But it wasn't the woods that filled Clarke with terror. If they had to make that choice, to reject the society of Norves and their ways, If they set up a life on their planet, using their resources, taking their land- without permission- would this act lead to war?

 

The group disbanded for now to get some rest, but as they did, Bellamy and Clarke naturally gravitated towards each other. Bellamy spoke first.  
'Clarke, what about the Euthvil?’  
Clarke took a heavy breath.  
'One awful thing at a time. I don't know, we don't even know what it is, if it's even real. It could be some nightmare monster the kids thought up, or something their mom created to stop them wandering the woods alone, who knows? I didn't want to scare them unnecessarily. Do you think that's wrong?’  
'No.’ Bellamy looked down at Clarke's furrowed brow. 'You're doing the right thing, Clarke. What more could you do?’  
'I don't know. Everything feels wrong. I don't want this Bellamy.’  
Suddenly, tears fell from Clarke's eyes. Clarke wasn't sure who was more surprised, her or Bellamy. Within a second his arms were around her, and she buried her face in his chest, hiding from the world in the one place she felt safe. All at once, the situation had overwhelmed her, but the soothing sound of his heartbeat brought her back.  
'I’m sorry.’ She managed.  
'Don't. Don't ever be sorry. You can't be that strong all the time.’  
'I have to be. But I didn't want this, not again. I'm scared we're heading down the same path. We can't go to war again, we can't. We have to be the good guys.’  
Bellamy could hear the panic in her voice.  
'We will be.’  
Clarke let out the breath she had been holding.  
'If kane dies, my mom will never forgive me.’  
Bellamy pulled back from her, just slightly, so he could look her in the eyes, his hands resting on her upper arms.  
‘She will. You forgave her. She'll come around. Kane would be the first to say that we have to do what's best for everyone.’  
‘Then we build our lives on his grave.’ Clarke's voice was barely above a whisper.  
'Stop. We don't even know if the worst will happen yet. We don't know anything. I know you want to have a plan, control over this, but maybe this time, we can't have all the answers, we just have to let it happen.’  
This was not the kind of reassurance he was hoping to give Clarke, but it was honest. There were too many extraneous factors, too many what it's. All they could do was take each day as it came, and Bellamy would be damned if he was going to spend his last night of freedom worrying. He took Clarke's hand in his.  
'Come with me.’

 

__________

As John and Emori left the bridge, they walked together in silence until they reached their quarters. Finally, John managed to speak.  
‘I love you Emori.’  
Her eyes softened, and she reached out a hand to gently cup his face.  
‘I know that. Of course I do, and I love you. I'm not jealous, John, and Raven is like a sister. But you will always have something for her, I know that too. I don't know if it's guilt that drives it, or you feel indebted to her, that she forgave you, gave you a chance. She's incredible, and a small piece of you will always love her. It's a piece I can't touch, and I'm ok with it. We all have a past. But please don't be so flippant with your emotions John. We all have them. Even you.’  
‘I'm sorry, I should have been more, I'm trying, you know, I'm…’ John flustered and scrambled for words. His walls had driven her away before, and he was not going to let that happen again.  
‘Maybe I haven't changed as much as everyone thinks. But I'm trying.’  
Emori closed her eyes for a second. He still didn't understand.  
‘John, I never asked you to change. I know the real you, and he's a fighter, a survivor. Do you know the reason I left you, when we were on the ring? It's because you lost that. You gave up, forgot who you were. While the rest of us fought to find a way home, to better ourselves, to learn things so we could help Raven, you did nothing. Not only that, but you mocked us for trying. That wasn't the John I knew. I don't want you to change, John, I want you to remember who you are. You are a hero John, whether you believe it or not. So don't chose the easy option. Don't let these people take our freedom because it's the easy way.’  
‘I don't want to lose anymore family ‘Mori.’ John's eyes shone with grief, ‘Monty and Harper, they wanted peace for us.’  
Emori joined him with her own tears, and rested her head against his.  
‘I know, and we'll do everything we can. And so will Clarke and Bellamy.' She breathed him in for second, before taking a step back, the softness from her features replaced with stern countenance, ‘But if it's wrong, if the time comes, I need to know that you’re with me. That you'll fight for us.’  
John gave a small nod.  
‘I'll always fight for you. I promise.’ 

___________

Shaw caught up with Raven outside of engineering, and couldn't help but laugh as he noticed she'd already changed back into her old clothes.  
'Couldn’t wait huh?’ He said, gently pulling on the edge of her shirt.  
‘Didn't really feel like myself, I gave the robes to Gaia, her clothes got ruined in the battle.’  
‘You're all heart Reyes. How are you feeling now?’ Shaw was still a little hazy himself, but his concern was only with Raven.  
‘Better thanks. I'm just trying to keep my mind busy. I hate that someone, something, got in my head like that. My mind is mine… ‘ Her thoughts drifted back to memories, from now so long ago, ‘I told you about Alie. When I took that chip, I knew it felt wrong. It was like I was trapped behind glass. I couldn't stand it. My body is already broken, my mind is all I have control over.’  
‘I get it, you don't have to explain, your mind and body are yours.’ Shaw smiled, stroking her arm.  
Raven took a step forward, grabbing Shaw's jacket and pulling him closer.  
‘You might have noticed, but i like being in control.’  
Shaw brought his lips within an inch of hers.  
‘I like you bring in control too.’ He teased.  
Raven kissed him softly, just for a moment, before pulling back.  
‘I love you, Shaw.’  
It was the first time Raven had uttered those words, to anyone, in what seemed like forever, and it filled her with an instant panic.  
Shaw was stunned, but his smile grew wide.  
'I Love you too, so much.’  
Raven felt her entire body relaxed. She was so happy, but then quickly, her joy filled her with guilt. She shook her head.  
‘It's going to sound so selfish but, everything we've been through. All the death and destruction. It threw us together. Without it, we wouldn't have met. And here we are, happy, and...does that make me a terrible person?’  
‘Well... I'm right there with you. We can be terrible people together.’ He smiled, tilting his head, trying to lighten the mood, but knew this was not the response she needed, ‘But to answer seriously, no, it doesn't. You deserve good things, Raven. It's ok to be happy. I don't know what I did to get so lucky though.’  
Shaw looked in awe at the woman in front of him, and knew, somehow, everything would be ok.

_________

 

Clarke followed Bellamy back to his room at his insistence. She had protested at first, not that she didn't want to spend time with him, but there was so much to do. But he was determined.  
When they arrived, he immediately began scrambling about in his cupboard.  
'Bellamy, what are we doing here?’  
'We...are finally...ah hah!’ He announced triumphantly, then presented her with what he'd found, 'going to have that drink.’  
He held in front of her a simple glass bottle full of liquid.  
Clarke frowned questioningly.  
'Is that…?’  
Bellamy gave her a lopsided smile.  
'You don't think Monty would have lived all this time on a ship without finding some way to make moonshine, do you?’  
'You're kidding?!’  
'Nope. Jordan showed me, thought I should keep it out of general circulation.’  
'Yeah, sure!’ She laughed, ‘God, how old must that be?’  
‘Don't think about it too hard. Here.’ He passed her a glass from the table and poured a little of the questionable liquid into it, choosing himself to drink out of the bottle.  
Clarke eyed it hesitantly.  
‘It might kill us.'  
'Maybe.’  
‘Besides, we need a clear head…’  
‘Clear heads are for tomorrow. One thing I will always take from Jasper, sometimes, we have to learn to live in the moment. We never know what's around the corner, so we make the most of now. This could be our last night of freedom.’  
Bellamys sentiment was right, and Clarke didn't disagree, she was just unsure about the actual drink itself.  
‘I still think this is insane. But…’ She downed her drink in one quick shot and it burned as it hit her throat, ‘Ughhh!’  
Clarke slumped herself down onto Bellamy's bed, feeling immediately dizzy, as Bellamy took his first sips from the bottle.  
‘Wow. You know, I think if Monty had made this on the ring we probably could have used it to get back down!’  
Clarke smiled at the joke, and at the thought of Monty. She still could not align the image of the old man from the videos with that of her smart, sarcastic friend.  
'I hope they know how much it meant, that they asked us to watch out for Jordan.’  
'They trusted us to come back together. They knew us too well.’ Bellamy paused for a moment, reflecting. 'Sometimes, I forget just how far we've come, from where we started.’  
'Yeah. You were an ass.’  
'And you were a princess.’ He rebutted, fondly. ‘Well here's our chance, let's ask each other anything we've always wanted to.’  
Clarke scrunched her nose up at the suggestion, unsure how it would go.  
'Fine, but nothing too serious, ok. My head can't deal with it right now.’  
'Deal. Me first. What did you really think about me, the first time you saw me?’  
Clarke was quiet for a while, before finally answering.  
'I thought you were...tall. And I hated your hair.’  
‘Really?!’ He responded in mock hurt, ‘Not handsome, or mysterious, just, tall?!’  
'I was a little preoccupied!’

Bellamy could not remember ever laughing so much in his entire life. They could really only manage one drink each, that stuff was lethal, but instead they just ended up talking for hours.  
As the evening drew on, they both lay across Bellamy's bed, side by side, Clarke's head resting on Bellamy's chest, her leg draped casually over his.  
'I can't believe we're here. It feels like a dream.’ Clarke whispered.  
'I know.’  
Clarke leaned back, tilting her head up to look at his face.  
'But really. I had this dream so many times, it was so vivid, i almost forgot this was real for a second then. You would come back to me, wake me up, hold me. Tell me you were home. It probably sounds stupid…’  
But it didn't. In fact, it sounded familiar.  
'No. No it doesn't. On the ring, for the first year, I would have these dreams, nightmares. I would be pacing around, searching for something, but I couldn't find it, and I would panic, but...I would never find it. I'd wake up, covered in sweat, exhausted, sometimes screaming. It was then I knew, I had to let you go. When Madi said you were alive, I hated myself for giving up on you.’  
'Can I be honest? I was angry too. You can't have known I was alive, but still, a part of me was so hurt that…’  
Clarke couldn't finish the sentence. She'd had no right to feel that way, but she couldn't help it.  
'But we're here now.’ Bellamy finished, pulling Clarke in even tighter, her warmth like an anchor.  
Bellamy felt himself begin to fall asleep. But before he could, he was shaken back awake by Clarke, suddenly springing up from the bed.  
'I have to go, I have to get back to Madi.’  
He managed to drag himself upright as she quickly slipped her boots back on.  
'I wish you could stay.’ He let slip, raw and honest.  
‘You have no idea how much I want to.’ Her body already ached to be next to him again, ‘I'm just, so glad we finally got that drink.’  
‘130 years later.’  
'Let's not wait that long till the next one, ok?’ She beamed brightly at him. She knew she was leaving hastily, but she had to go now, while she had the strength to. No matter how much she yearned for him, Madi would always come first.  
'Goodnight, Bell.’  
‘Goodnight, Clarke.’ He wanted to get up, to see her out, but she was gone in an instant.

_________

 

Firth paced back and forth outside the metal doors of what was once the bridge of the Eligius 3. The mechanics of the doors had long since broken, and a makeshift handle welded in their place. 

Finally, his wait was over, and he was called through. He stopped for a second to smooth his hair back, puffed his chest out, and entered the room. 

The chamber of the ancestors was a place few were ever permitted. It was dimly lit, and the windows completely boarded up, for no-one must know what lay inside.


	7. Chapter 7

When Clarke arrived back at her quarters, she found Madi asleep, but from the awkward position the young girl was slumped in, Clarke could tell she had been sat up waiting for her.  
Clarke gently moved her, lying her down properly, tucking her in, smoothing the hair from her face. She cherished these small moments of bliss, her girl safe and sound, and settled down to sleep beside her.

Clarke awoke the next morning to clattering and scraping as Madi noisily shifted about the room. She pulled herself up, her body heavy.  
'Sorry, did I wake you?’ Madi asked, innocently.  
Clarke managed a sleepy smile.  
‘Like you weren't trying to?’ She replied, amused. She knew Madi too well.  
Madi shuffled her feet and looked at the ground.  
'Ok, maybe. It's just, we haven't really caught up properly yet, and I have so many questions!’  
Clarke felt instantly guilty.  
'I know. I'm so, sorry. But I'm here now, and I'm all yours, so fire away.’

They talked for the longest time, Madi bombarded Clarke with questions, and Clarke answered as best she could, but Clarke was just as eager to find out what had happened on the ship in her absence.  
‘What about you? How were things here? Did everyone behave themselves.’  
'Yes, mostly. There was...but Indra took care of it.’  
Clarke sat up straight at Madi's admission, her mind on full alert.  
'Did someone hurt you? Are you ok?’ Clarke scrambled as fear flooded her chest.  
'No, I'm fine, just in- fighting again, that's all. It's really ok.’  
‘You’re sure?’ She checked, and Madi nodded, but Clarke felt little relief. 'Good. I'm glad Indra was looking out for you. You know, I've asked her to be a part of our meetings, but she always refuses.’  
'I know. She explained. She said that all of this, it's not her place. But really I think, after what happened to Gaia, she just wants to stay close to her.’  
'I can understand that.’ Clarke smiled softly, ‘ Is Gaia still helping you, the flames not giving you any trouble? No more dreams?’  
'No. Not recently. I think I have more control now, over what I let it show me.’  
'Good. And just remember what Raven told you too, bottom line, it's a computer, like any other, and you can control it, just like you did when you reset it’s password. It doesn't control you.’  
Madi rolled her eyes a little, she'd heard this speech a lot.  
‘I know, but don't let Gaia hear you talk about it like that.’  
'Trust me, Madi, I know that it's special.' Clarke felt the familiar pang of sadness, but this was about protecting Madi, ‘But so are you.’ Clarke paused for a second, knowing this was her opportunity to broach a subject she had been worried about. 'You're special with or without the flame, and on the ground…’  
Madi could sense Clarke's nervous energy, and urged her to continue.  
'You...you can't be the commander anymore. I don't think they'll accept a separate leader. They want us to be one with their people.’  
Madi's initial instinct was to react, argue, but something in her told her to be still. She took a breath.  
'Clarke, I am the commander. That is true regardless of whether I lead my people. It is who I am, not what I do.’  
Clarke was unsure how to respond. It was a remarkably wise and mature approach, and while it was the response Clarke had wanted, it made her uneasy.  
'Thankyou, Madi. I really should get going now, I need to check on the children, but we'll meet for dinner, ok? Spend some more time together. I really am sorry I was so busy last night, I should have come back sooner.’ Clarke still felt incredibly guilty that she had been out with Bellamy while Madi had been waiting up for her.  
'It's really ok Clarke, I know you had things to do.’  
Madi was being so understanding, and it only made Clarke feel worse.  
‘One last question though?’ Madi asked, a curiously knowing look etched across her face, the corners of her mouth curling into the beginnings of a smirk.  
'Of course.’ Clarke nodded.  
'Were you with Bellamy last night?’  
Clarke couldn't help but release a shocked laugh as Madi teased her.  
'I'm leaving!’ She sang as she made her way out of the door, with Madi calling after her.  
'I knew it!’

___________

Clarke's first stop of the morning was Miller and Jackson's room. They had volunteered to take charge of the stow away children, and it made sense, they were probably the most stable couple around, and Jackson could keep them healthy while Milker kept them safe. Not to mention, the children had taken quite a shine to them. 

But they weren't in their room, and Clarke eventually tracked them down in the mess hall having breakfast. At first glance, they looked like any normal, smiling, happy family. She pulled Jackson aside to ask how they had been.  
'Fine. They're really great kids, Clarke.’ Jackson looked at them fondly, 'Enor woke up a couple of times, nightmares I think. They haven't said much more though, about where they're from, if you were wondering.’  
A little more information would have been helpful, but Clarke had known it would be unlikely.  
‘Do they know we're going back down soon?’  
'Yes. They seem ok, they were scared at first but, I told them we'll make sure to land during daylight, it seemed to ease their minds. Should we be concerned about that?’  
Clarke wasn't even sure how to respond to that.  
'Probably.’ 

She left them soon after for her next stop, Diyoza. Despite everything that had happened between the prisoners on earth, they still looked to Diyoza as their leader, and it was important for Clarke to check that Diyoza was doing all she could to ease tensions between the groups.

 

It was a long and arduous day for Clarke, trying to satisfy all the various factions on board the ship and make them a cohesive unit before they got to the ground. There were still former members of the ark, as well as grounders, that followed Octavia. There were grounders that followed Madi, prisoner's loyal to Diyoza, and some that despised her. It was a minefield to navigate them all. Bellamy had agreed to tackle Octavia's unit, while Clarke dealt with the prisoners, but at the end of the day, neither was sure their message had held much weight. 

__________

As another day arrived, everyone on board had been advised what awaited them on the planet below, (with some of the more concerning details redacted) and Clarke and Bellamy urged them all to let go of the past, to try to embrace the chance of a new life. But for themselves, they were still incredibly wary of what lay ahead, even if they couldn't let the general population know it yet. They had to try to make this work, somehow.  
They were still planning to make their final decision based on Firths reaction to the children, but if it was favourable, they needed to know their people would behave themselves long enough to be accepted on Norves.

As Clarke and Bellamy finally made their way to the bridge to tell Raven they were ready, they were stopped short by an irate Gaia.  
'Clarke, you are asking us to forget everything that makes us who we are! Our ways and traditions cannot be erased like they mean nothing! The commanders position is sacred!’  
Clarke tried her best not to roll her eyes.  
'Gaia, we don't have a choice. You want to stay here and starve?’  
Clarke was tired. Tired of diplomacy. Tired of everyone's expectations. They all wanted the new world to fit around them, and it just wasn't possible. But she had startled herself with her abruptness, and promptly changed her tone.  
'I’m sorry, Gaia, I don't mean to be disrespectful, I'm sure when things have settled, you'll be able to share your culture with the people of Norves. But for now, we need to keep our heads down and do what's needed. Can you understand that?’  
'All I see is someone willing to sacrifice everything they stand for, to be ruled by others. We know nothing of them, and yet we bend to them?’  
'They are welcoming us to their home, offering us shelter, food, clothing, so for now, yes. We will take it one day at a time, but I won't sanction a war so you can feel like you've kept your promise to a system that's long dead.’  
'Clarke…’ Bellamy interrupted, offering a gentle reminder to use her diplomacy, but in doing so, he drew Gaia's attention to him.  
'Bellamy, you've served the commander, when it has served you, offered her your guidance, surely you understand our position.’  
'I understand how hard it is to relinquish control. This is new to all of us. But we have to stick together, fighting amongst ourselves only makes us weaker. If we are going to have any chance at all of having a say in our position down there, we need to present a united front.’  
Gaia couldn't deny that what Bellamy was saying made sense, but she knew there was something they weren't telling her, and she didn't like it.  
‘So you do think we may need to fight again?’ She inferred from his speech, requiring Bellamy to backtrack.  
'That's not what I'm saying. There's a lot we don't know, and things we do that, we don't understand yet. Like Clarke said, we take it a day at a time.’  
Gaia was unsatisfied, but for now, she let it go, though Clarke wondered how long the uneasy peace would last. She looked to a fretful Bellamy, his uneasy expression mirroring her own.  
'I'm sorry, Bellamy. I didn't deal with that very well. I'm just frustrated, but it's no excuse.’  
‘Yes, it is.’  
'You stayed calm.’  
He took a deep breath.  
'I got all my frustration out talking to Octavia. We just went around in circles too.’  
Clarke hugged her arms around herself, trying to calm her racing mind.  
'Echo was right.’ She sighed, ‘We shouldn't have let them live in factions, we should have dealt with this sooner.’ But Clarke was cautious not to pull Bellamy down with her, 'I should've dealt with it.’  
'We, Clarke. Don't do that.’ Bellamy scolded instantly, ‘And what else could we do, start a war on a ship in space?’  
Clarke raised her eyebrows, and responded dryly.  
'We seem to manage it everywhere else.’

With that depressing sentiment, they continued their final walk to the bridge, before their journey to the ground.

____________

 

Landing a ship so huge wasn't nearly as easy as landing the shuttle, but with Raven, Shaw and Emori at the helm they made it work, finding the same clearing as before. The landing gear creaked and moaned, so long since it's last use. One of the feet refused to release, so Shaw and Bellamy dashed to the other side of the ship to open the manual release. With more brute force than expertise, they pried it open, and the ship finally settled on the ground.

The rush from their people to get outside, to breathe the fresh air, to feel a cool breeze on their skin, was a disorderly mess of pushing and shoving. They hadn't been on the ground for more than 30 seconds before a fight had broken out.  
'Great start.’ Bellamy quipped to Clarke, as he threw himself into the fray to break it up.  
Amidst all the chaos and the shouting, Bellamy could just barely make out Ravens voice above the crowd.  
'Guys! Bellamy, Clarke!’  
As things began to settle, he focused on the sound.  
‘Its Jordan!’

Hastily, they clambered back through the people towards the ship, but it was not easy fighting against the flow of bodies heading the other way. Clarke reached for Bellamy's hand through the crowd and gripped it tightly. Once they were clear of everyone, they sped through the corridors, their heavy boots clattering on the metal floor. They followed after Raven until they reached Jordan, who was sitting on the floor, shaking, Octavia by his side.

In all the confusion of the last few days, it had, sadly, not occurred to them what this day meant for one of their own. One whose feet had never touched solid ground before.  
As his concerned family looked down at him, tears pricked at Jordan’s eyes.  
'I’m sorry. I don't know what happened.’  
Octavia spoke first to reassure him.  
'You have nothing to be sorry for.’  
'I thought this was what I wanted. It is what I want. I think. This is stupid.’ His voice rattled as he tried to rally himself, but his body would not work. His legs felt powerless, like they weren't connected to him, they refused to move.  
Clarke sat down in front of him, taking Bellamy's hand again and urging him to do the same. Then Raven joined them too. They took some time to be still together, a moment of silence, remembering who should be with them.  
After a little time had passed, Jordan broke the silence, his voice quiet.  
‘Why can't I do it? You all did it, when you landed on Earth. You were excited to be there, Mom and Dad told me.’  
'We were, but we were terrified too. We'd had no say in the decision.’ Clarke answered.  
'And your Dad wasn't as excited the second time, trust me.’ Bellamy added, honestly, ‘We'd been safe on the ring. It scared him, to have to try again on Earth. What you're feeling, It's completely normal.’  
Jordan looked up, his tears flowing faster now despite their attempts to comfort him.  
'But this is what they wanted for me. It's what I wanted. To have a life on a new planet, to discover new things, meet new people. I left them behind to go in to stasis so I could do this.’ Jordan's chest filled with pain at the heartbreaking choice he had made, it was so raw. It still felt so recent, and he couldn't take it back, they were gone. 'I'm letting them down.’  
'No.’ Raven shook her head, holding back her own tears, 'There is nothing you could ever do to let your parents down, I promise. They would be so proud of you.’  
Bellamy nodded his agreement, finding it difficult to speak.  
Clarke looked upon the young man in front of her, so smart, so kind, so like both his parents.  
'Jordan, I'm so sorry. We let you down. We should have been more supportive. You've been so amazing getting everything ready, showing us what to do, we haven't considered how huge this is for you. You don't need to do this today. The planets not going anywhere. We can take it slow.’  
Jordan smiled at Clarke, who wore her characteristic forced smile, and the others as well. They had all been through it, landing on a new planet, dealing with what lay ahead, but yet he realised, none could quite understand the unknown he faced like Octavia.  
She had noticed immediately when he failed to move upon landing, recognised the fear in his eyes, helped him sit as his legs had failed him.  
Octavia remembered the day that Bellamy had told her she could get out of their room, even just for a night, and the mixture of excitement and terror that had followed. If she hadn't had Bellamy with her, to hold her hand, she wasn't sure she could have done it.  
'I'll stay with him. Until he's ready.’ Octavia announced, knowing well that the others had things they needed to do.  
They looked guiltily at Jordan, desperate to stay and go in equal measure, he could tell.  
'Its ok, I know you have to deal with everything. For what it's worth, you haven't let me down either, I had no idea i’d feel like this.’  
'Are you sure?’ Clarke asked, wanting to stay, and certainly unsure if Octavia was the right person to leave him with, but concerned at what was occuring outside in her absence.  
'Go, I'll be fine.’  
'You got this O?’ Bellamy both questioned and warned her, as he got up, to which she simply nodded.

As the others departed, Jordan looked at Octavia, who sat dutifully next to him, though not offering any conversation.  
'You don't have to stay. You must want to see what's out there too. I'll be ok.’  
'There's nothing out there for me.’  
Jordan had spoken to Octavia a few times since they had woken, and though wary of her from the brutal stories he had heard, he was always kind to her.  
His father had spoken of her often, and even though he had been clear about the horrors Octavia had enacted, he always ended his stories with hope, insisting she was a good person, still somewhere, deep inside, and that she had just lost herself for a while.  
'Besides,’ Octavia continued, interrupting Jordans thoughts, 'I owe it to your dad.’  
A softness settled across Octavia's face, a look Jordan had never seen on her before. Maybe his Dad was right.  
____________

Clarke and Bellamy walked back along the corridor in silence, both feeling the sting of hurt and guilt, as if they had failed Monty and Harper, but Clarke knew however badly she was scolding herself, Bellamy would be beating himself up even more so. It was just his way, he could never go easy on himself. She knew he would feel solely responsible for Jordan, and she couldn't allow it. Before they reached the exit, she stopped him for a moment, gently pulling at his arm.  
'You couldn't have known, Bellamy. It's not your fault.’  
Bellamy stopped, but would not meet her eyes.  
'I didn't even check in with him. Ask him how he was feeling.’  
Clarke stepped closer to him.  
'Neither did I. He's been so capable and steady, and we've been dealing with a lot.’  
But to Bellamy, these all sounded like terrible excuses.  
'It’s not good enough. I need to do better.’  
'We.’ Clarke corrected, pointedly. ‘And we will.’  
Bellamy managed a thin smile as he finally met her determined gaze, and nodded.  
'Together.’

As they made it outside, they noticed the crowd were more settled now, Echo, Indra and Diyoza more than capable of handling the situation.  
Clarke finally had a chance to get her bearings. She noticed several tents close to the tree line. It seemed that Firth's guards had camped out here, awaiting their arrival.  
Amongst the commotion, Clarke noticed Firth himself, greeting their people. His eerie smile and crinkled eyes seemed emptier than the last time they spoke. Perhaps it was Clarke's paranoia, but she was sure his facade was falling.  
She marched her way over to him, heading him off before he got to anyone else, Bellamy fast behind her.  
‘It’s good to see you again Mr.Firth.’ She announced loudly, interrupting his conversation with a disgusted looking prisoner. Firth turned to look at her, smile in place.  
'You too Miss.Griffin. We were beginning to wonder if you were coming.’  
'I’m sorry, it took longer to get back than we anticipated. Some of us were, unwell.’  
She wasn't sure how much to mention, or accuse him of, but she wanted to gauge his reaction.  
'Oh dear. I am sorry. I hope it wasn't an adverse reaction to our food?’  
Firth’s demeanor remained unchanged.  
'We thought maybe the atmosphere. I'd hate to think it was anything else.’  
Clarke let the implication hang in the air, but unsurprisingly Firth completely blew past it. However, Clarke was sure she'd spotted a twitch in his eye.  
‘Your people seem a little on edge with each other, Miss.Griffin. Is everything ok?’  
'Yes. They're tired and hungry, that's all.’  
'Really? Well I can help you with that. We brought supplies for you, some food and clothing.’  
'That's very generous.’  
‘We would very much like you all to come and join us in the city, but I understand this is a process. We must be cautious.’ As he spoke, he surveyed the array of people, their generally disheveled appearance hardly endearing.  
'That sounds sensible.’ Clarke agreed, in no rush to assimilate.  
'So, you can stay here for now, and some of my people can stay with you, to make sure no one gets lost, and show you where is safe to explore. I need to be getting back to the city, let everyone know of your arrival.’  
'I was hoping we would get a chance to talk some more, something's happened…’  
'All in good time, not to worry.’  
'But I really-  
But Firth was no longer paying any attention to Clarke. He glanced about again at the people, and the very obvious divide between them.  
'Perhaps, to aid the tension, I should take a selection of your people with me. There's quite clearly some...issues, here, and no wonder with the variety of backgrounds your people have come from. I'll take one of the more... difficult, groups off your hands, offer them a hot shower at our community building, maybe a short tour?’  
For the first time during the exchange, Bellamy jumped in.  
'No, I think it's best we stay together.’  
Bellamy didn't like the idea of anyone else entering the community building, not after what had happened to them during their visit. He still could not piece that day together.  
'No need to be defensive, Mr.Blake. You have done a magnificent job bringing your people here, keeping things ticking over. A break from each other will do them the world of good.’  
‘No-’ Both Clarke and Bellamy protested, but Firth was already walking away, talking to himself.  
'The former prisoner's, first. Yes. Make them feel welcome. Let them know that no-one judges them here. A fresh start. How wonderful.’  
Before they knew it, Firth was making an impassioned speech to their people, and they were lapping it up. Bellamy and Clarke looked at each other, powerless to stop what was happening, as Firth continued on.  
‘We are so thrilled to have you here. You will all be welcome to our city soon, but for now, if we just take, shall we say, the former prisoner's. I apologise in referring to you that way, and I promise, you will not be seen by that label here. Now, I hate to prioritise any group, but we only have so much shelter available at present. We are working on building homes for you all as we speak though. It will be time for all of you to join us soon.’ 

The prisoners seemed perfectly happy with the arrangement, eager to be away from the ship they had been confined to for so long. The grounders too were quite happy to see them go, and much more cautious of Firth and this new world after their dealings with the city of light.

Diyoza stepped forward to lead her people, with a nod to Clarke and Bellamy to let them know she would be on her guard, when suddenly, Firth stopped her.  
'I must apologise that I haven't introduced myself formally. I am Facilitator Firth.’  
Charmaine stood tall, her stance broad.  
'Colonel Diyoza.’ She stated, but offered no handshake.  
'Miss.Diyoza-’  
'Colonel.’ She corrected, instantly and firmly.  
'Of course. You are with child?’ It was more of a statement than a question, and it threw Diyoza slightly.  
‘I am.’  
'It’s a long walk to the city, especially for someone in your condition. Perhaps it's best you stay here for now. I'll ensure that we bring a vehicle on our next trip back.’  
'With all due respect, I know what I can handle. These are my men, they follow me.’  
'Don't be concerned with that. I assure you, they'll be well taken care of. You just concentrate on taking care of yourself, I'm sure it will be the first time in a while you've had to relax.’  
Diyoza did not appreciate being patronised.  
'I'd rather stay busy.’  
'Well you are in luck. There's plenty of food and supplies here to hand out for those who are staying.’  
Diyoza did not like this man. He had an answer for everything, and while everything he was saying seemed thoughtful, why did she get the distinct feeling that if she let her men go with him, she would never see them again?

There was no more to be said. Firth and a few of his people escorted the group of prisoners along the path towards the city, and they were soon out of sight, and Diyoza, Clarke and the others regrouped.  
'Is it just me, or does anyone else get the feeling that's the last we'll see of them?’ Diyoza began.  
Clarke raised her eyebrows, equally suspicious.  
'I'm more curious why he wouldn't let you go with them. His reaction to your baby was...odd.’  
Clarke had been watching Firths face closely, and his reaction was, dare she say, angry. It had flashed across his features in a fraction of a second, but it was definitely there.  
Abby jumped in at this point, in no mood to indulge the conspiracies today.  
'Or, voice of reason, perhaps he was genuinely concerned about your baby?’  
'Mom…’  
But Abby cut her off, snapping at her.  
'Can we just get the food around, please? I have sick people that could use a good meal if they're not getting any medicine.’  
Abby's demeanor had not improved in the last day, and after seeing the limited supplies left to them, was not likely to change anytime soon.  
'Mom, I'm sorry. I tried to talk to him, he's, illusive. You can see that right? I don't trust him. And now I've just let him leave with half our people, and I didn't even stop him. I…’ Clarke's voice cracked under the strain and lack of control in this strange situation.  
Abby looked at her daughter, her face fraught, as always, with trying to do the right thing. She felt suddenly guilty at the burden she had placed on her, and finally softened.  
'I'm sorry Clarke. I shouldn't be putting this on your shoulders. I know you’re doing everything you can. I'm frustrated, but that's not your fault or your responsibility.’  
Clarke managed a small smile and the weight of her heart lightened slightly. She'd needed to hear that.

They all talked about the oddness of their arrival. The ship had been briefly searched for weapons, but not particularly thoroughly, and Firth had left so few guards behind with them, who were completely unarmed and who they could easily overpower if they chose too. Was this because he was so trusting, or because he knew something they didn't?  
They had been shown where they were permitted to ‘explore’, but that term was a bit of a stretch. They could not go in woods, or past the lake, the area they could inhabit was no more than 500 metres wide.  
But the final disturbing detail, was how he'd insisted upon them getting back on board the ship when both suns were down, with no more explanation than the drop in temperature.

As the conversation continued, Diyoza's gaze was drawn to the movement along the tree line. She looked out discreetly as she continued to unpack the food with the others.  
'Clarke, keep doing what you're doing, but I think we're being watched. Don't look up.’  
Clarke tried to keep her face flat and neutral, but it wasn't easy.  
‘Is it more of Firths people? They're covering lake side too.’  
Diyoza continued to pass supplies along the line, but her focus was never far from the movement.  
'No, I don't think so. Whoever they are, they're attempting to hide. You see it?’ She directed this question at Echo, who nodded.  
'Flank left.’ Diyoza strategized, and Echo nodded again, but before she slipped away, Diyoza continued, 'Go quietly. Whoever it is, if they’re not with Firth, then we don't want them being seen, not until we've had a chance to question them. We get them onboard quickly and discreetly.’

Clarke let Diyoza and Echo take the lead on this one. They knew what they were doing, and in a fast co-ordinated move, it was over in seconds. Whoever this person was, they had not seen it coming. The group gathered around in front of the commotion, concealing what was taking place, while Diyoza and Echo dragged the struggling woman onto the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou so much for anyone who has been patiently awaiting this chapter, you're amazing, and just thanks in general for reading!  
> So, even though the real season 6 will be out soon, I'm gonna keep going with this one as I'd always planned, I'm really enjoying writing it, I hope you enjoy reading it, even if it does go in a completely different direction to the real thing!


End file.
